My girl

I'm back!

I'm not so sure anyone follows my blog anymore But life has been super crazy the last few months. Being pregnant, and parenting two small children has left no time for blogging. Our two little guys spent a lot of the last few months fighting one infection, cold or stomach bug after the other. It has been very emotionally and physically draining.

When the boys weren't sick we spent our time trying our best to stay cool. We went to the beach, the pool, and the amusement park. We traveled to Virginia, and South Carolina. Being pregnant in 110 degree weather is NO joke. Walking outside in the heat made me sick to my stomach.

When I last blogged in June I told you all that Baby A and Big Brother D were scheduled to go home within 6-8 weeks. The caseworker assured us time, and time again that all was going according to plan. By the time August rolled around bio Mom had quit her job, and had no place to live. By the end of August we were told the boys were up for adoption. We were asked if we wanted to adopt them, but said no due to finical reasons.

My good friend and fellow foster parent had made it clear all along that she and her husband were interested in adopting the boys. The boys moved in with them September 15th. Shortly after they moved in bio Mom cleaned up her act and now the case worker say's (yet again) the the boys will be going home. Why is the system so back and fourth?

I was so annoyed when I found out that they will be going home. Not because I dont support reunification, but because they were moved unnecessarily. We would have continued to parent then until they were return to their Mother.

Our sweet baby girls due date is tomorrow, however she decided to make her grand entrance a few weeks early. I had to be induce due to low fluid. Labor was pretty intense but only lasted six hours. Lillian was born September 30th, and weighed in at 6lbs 12 oz. She has a head full of brownish/blonde hair. She has a very laid back personality just like daddy. She spends all of her time eating, pooping, and sleeping! She only cries when hungry and sleeps for 3-4 hour stretches at night. I'm totally in love!

Yes i know..

Im a bad blogger.  Several people have emailed to see how we are doing so I  figured it was time to update my blog! 

Baby A is five months old and 21lbs!  He rolls and scoots all over the place.  Yesterday he got up on all fours and attempted to crawl! Thankfully his vomiting issues have resolved. 

Big brother D is 22 months old and is chatting up a storm!  He can count to three and identify most of his body parts.  He has come along way in such a short amount of time.

Bio dads rights are scheduled to be terminated at the end of the month.  He has not made any attempt to follow his plan and has made it clear he wants nothing to do with the boys.

Bio mom has never missed a visit, she has attended her parenting classes and goes to weekly therapy.  Visits were increased last week.  Ive been told the boys will return to mom with the next 6-8 weeks.

I will miss them greatly.

Things are going well with my pregnancy.  Im 23 weeks today!  Ive gained a whopping one pound! Ive been trying my best to stay cool, but with temps continually over 100 its hard! 

We found out two weeks ago that we are having a sweet baby girl!!! (Got any name suggestions??)

That's all for now folks.

Staying down

Baby A  is now holding down his formula!!! He has not vomited in five days.  He is still spitting up but ill take that over vomiting.  He is scheduled for an upper gi May 10th to see what's going on in there.  He continues to gain weight and is now eating  between 7-8oz every 3-4 hrs during the day.

Big bother D has discovered how to unzip and remove his footed PJ's and diaper which has resulted in a total mess. I don't know how much more of that I can deal with.  Lets hope some safety pins will help!

My pregnancy is going well babies heart rate is between 145-155. Im starting to show despite the fact that ive lost weight.  Morning sickness has become less frequent now that I know which foods to avoid.

Life is good but very busy!

Vomiting-updated

Shortly after my post yesterday I took baby A to the doctors.  They took him off zantac and soy formula.  We will now be using a formula that has rice starch in it.  They told me to try the new formula until monday. 

The vomiting got much worse 10pm last night he was becoming dehydrated.  So off to the ER we went.  The ER docs were puzzled and didn't have any suggestions that I haven't already tried.

He has been able to keep down several ounce since 4am.  Fingers crossed

Advice?

Im having feeding/ vomiting issues with baby A who is 3 1/2 months old.  He has been a spitter since birth and was placed on soy formula at 4 weeks old.  In the two months that we have had him he has had several vomiting episodes lasting 2-3 days.  When I say vomiting I mean he pukes the whole bottle. 

About two weeks ago the pediatrician (who sucks) put him on zantact twice a day.  It made no difference.  Its been about three weeks since his last puke session.

Tuesday night he vomited his 3am feeding about 30 minutes after he took it.  He was fine during the day Wednesday.  Last night he vomited both the 3am and 6am bottles. Both times it was within 30 minutes of drinking.

He burps well, we feed him upright and have lowered the amount he gets at each feeding. There is no consistency to the vomiting.  Sometimes he's fussy other times he vomits and smiles.  Any suggestions?

Where do i begin?

First im sorry for the lack of posts we've been having major computer problems.  We went from three computers between the hubs and I down to one.  Hubbies school work trumps blogging so I never get on the computer. 

We have had the boys for a little over seven weeks.  The baby (baby A) is now three months old.  Big brother D is 20 months old.  Baby A has been sick non-stop since we got him.  Two ear infections, vomiting, watery eyes, snotty nose, unexplained fever, etc.

Other than all of the sickness he is developmentally on target! 

D has allergies nothing too serious.  He is delayed in speech and gross motor skills.  When he first came to live with us he didn't even know his name. He screamed constantly and didn't understand simple things.  For example get your cup, lets go bye bye. He has grown leaps and bounds in the seven weeks that we have had him.

Mom has been following her case plan to some extent.  Bio Dad is a bum and has only showed up once in seven weeks.

Hubby is finishing up his final semester in his senior year of architecture school so ive been flying solo.

Shortly after my post on January 30th, just two days before my due date with the little bean we lost I discovered that we are pregnant again! Im 14 weeks today and due October 9th!!! We've had an ultrasound and everything looks good. I bought a doppler so I can listen to the heartbeat whenever I worry. Morning sickness has caused me to loose 8 lbs so far. Im one tired mama!

Aside from computer issues ive just been way to tired to blog!

Hello

Im still alive, the boys are doing well.  Ive got a lot to blog about but no free time.  Check back this weekend for an update!



nkm kk ws2:6* n

Sorry

Sorry for the lack of updates.  We did not get the boys last week, because we didnt get our license until YESTERDAY!

The boys will be coming this afternoon!

I'm all set for the 18 month old, but have no clothes for the newbie.  I didnt go out and buy much because we were not 100% sure we were going to get them until yesterday. 

For now the newbie will sleep in a bassinet in our room.

I'm excited! :)

Oh boy!

We accepted our first placement before we are even licensed.  A 4 week old baby boy and his 17 month old brother.  They should be here by the end of the week!

nkm kk ws2:6* n

One step closer.

Foster care home inspection is scheduled for next Wednesday.  We should have our license shortly after! A little birdie told me that they already have a prospective placement in mind for us. 

Things are looking up, lots of good things to come four our family in 2011!

Hurting

I am a ball of emotions right now, sad angry, and confused. I should be 39 weeks pregnant, and expecting the birth of my sweet baby. Instead I sit here with an empty stomach and a broken heart. I just "knew" in my heart that I would be pregnant again before my due date. Surely God isn't that cruel. I am 13 days passed ovulation, and the witch is due tomorrow.

I took a pregnancy test thins morning it was negative.

A miscarriage is devastating within itself, but to have a miscarriage on top of fertility issues is doubly devastating. Month after month you sit on pines and needles hoping and praying that this is the month. Finally you get a big fat positive , you get excited, you cry, you tell anyone that will listen. You make plans for the future, think about names, and even shop online for baby furniture. Only to have your hopes, your dreams, and your future taken away in a instant. "i'm sorry there is no heartbeat."

Month after month you lie to yourself "this will be the month, I just know it." "Oh my b00bs hurt, I must be pregnant." only to be let down once again. Your desperate to become pregnant but terrified all the same, you know what can happen, and that scares you. Yet your hope for one day holding a baby in your arms, our weighs the pain of negative tests, and the terror of anything miscarriage.

Your Dr tells you the only way to get pregnant is with IVF, but that isnt an option right now. Friends tell you to relax, and it will happen. You pretend your happy when friends announce they are pregnant, and you bawl like a baby when you get a birth announcement in the mail. Jealously sucks

Some how you keep on going, because what choice do you have? You know that some where some how you will become a Mummy. Why cant it be now?

results, a breakdown, a big mess, and no license.

My blood work came back within normal limits, and my ultrasound showed no visible  cysts!

FINALLY good news!

One night last week I had a mini breakdown.  It all started with this little girls photolisting. I would be content adopting now, and trying to have a biological child once The Hubs graduates.  The Hubs on the other hand wants to have a biological child first, and then adopt.  Why do men have to be so difficult?

Our remodeling project is taking much longer than we expected. Partly because we've been slacking, and partly because hanging sheetrock, and moving walls is hard work!

My house is total disaster, sheetrock dust  is everywhere. 

We are very close to becoming licensed, but we cannot have our home inspection due to the remodel. I think we have about three more weekends worth of work, before we will be finished.

The happenings

• Hubby started back to school after having a long winter break.  He has to drive just over an hour to class (each way) and is in class 25 hours a week.  On top of that he has hours and hours of home work.  I really hate when he's in school I miss him so much.

 

• Saturday marked six years since my sweet niece Teagyn passed away.  Its hard to believe  she has been gone longer than she was alive.  Hubby and I sent balloons to here I hope she caught them!

 

• The hubby and I had a lovely day out in the "big city".  We went out to lunch, and then to the park.  Hubby did some sketching (for school), while I read a book.  We then ventured to a few of my favorite stores before coming home and playing Mario Brothers! (lol)

 

• Tonight we are supposed to get a snow/sleet mixture so everyone is freaking out! It hasn't snowed here since the 80's!

 

• On Thursday I go back to the gyno to get my blood test, and ultrasound results. Fingers crossed for good news!

Just dance!

Yesterday our case worker called to let me know that she had all of our paper work in her hands!! Woot woot, doing the happy dance!

She said give her a week to go over all of the info to see what else (if anything) she needs from us before scheduling our home inspection.  Here's hoping we are licensed soon!

Goodbye 2010

I can honestly say that I am happy to see 2010 go. I hope and pray that 2011 is a much better year for myself and my family.  Last year I chronicled my year. You can read about it here, here, and here.

We started out 2010 with a mini vacation to St. Augustine, FL.

We shopped, check out the sites, stay up late, and ate a lot of ice cream!

Lil' Man was matched with an adoptive family!

We ended January by celebrating Lil' Man's 5th birthday.  It was a bitter sweet celebration.

February didnt start out very well, hubby had pneumonia, Lil' Man had a sinus infection, and I had surgery.

While recovering from surgery I became obsessed with the devastation in Haiti .

We had another visit with the adoptive family. Lil' Man acting out.  We ended February the same way we did in January celebrating Hubby's birthday!

In March Lil' Man continued to have weekly visits with this adoptive family.  Things seemed to be going well.

Lil' Man's behaviors had greatly improved! It seems as if he matured once he turn five!

As April approached, we were unsure what was happening with the adoption.  My sister, and her two children came to visit over Easter. We had a blast!

We celebrated my Mum's birthday

and waited and waited to find out what was going on with the adoption. We finally learned they did not intend to adopt.

April 23rd, marked one year of Lil' Man living with us.  What a wild and crazy year! We ended the month with the preschool spring play.

In May we bought season passes to a local amusement park.  Lil' Man had a blast!!

I hadn't been feel well, and was starting to get down.

Some of Lil' Mans old behaviors were back in full force.

We took Lil' Man for a follow up appointment at the FAS clinic. 

Hubby an I ventured to the beach for our second wedding anniversary.  It was a peaceful weekend full of relaxation.

Lil' Man started at a new daycare, because he was kicked out of the previous one.  His first day didnt go so well.

June was not a easy month in many aspects.  Lil' Mans behaviors were up and down. We spent time at the pool, the beach, library and other kid friendly places. He continued to act out at daycare.

We sent him to respite, and considered disrupting  his placement. I was bunt out.

I still wasn't feeling well, and became increasingly tired.  Turns out I was expecting!!  Our little Belly Bean gave us a few scares.

Lil' man continued to act up and was eventually kicked out of another daycare. I was about five seconds away from being committed, so we give our notice.

July brought more devastating news, our little baby's heart had stopped beating.

On July 2nd I had a D&C

Lil' Man left our home July 6th

I ended up with a post D&C infection.

July 7th my Grandmother passed away. I flew Scotland the next day.

We continued to get updates on Lil' Man things were not improving.

.

The end of July into August was filled entertaining my niece Jannae who visits for a few weeks each summer.  We went to the beach and met up with my sister.

Upon returning home The Hubby's grandmother passed away.

The hubby and I were walking around in a fog, trying to make sense of everything that was happening.  One thing after another.  Despite all of the sadness The Hubby and I grew closer and closer.

August ended on a high note.  My niece Ava was born!

In September I celebrated my 28th birthday.  Shortly after my birthday we learn that The Hubby has a low sperm count. Talk about getting kicked when your already down.

Some where in between all of this madness we began working on our house!

Oct flew by between  my sprained foot,  Teagyn's birthday,   Hubby's surgery.

We got an update on Lil' Man he has finally been placed in a foster home (not respite home).  I asked his worker to come an get the rest of his belongings.

We waffled back and fourth with the idea of giving up our foster care license. We finally decide to give up our therapeutic license an pursue "regular" foster care.

November and December were pretty typical months.  Nothing too dramatic/traumatic happened. We had Thanksgiving with my sisters in Tybee.

Christmas day was spent at home, snuggling in bed!

I'm finally starting to feel back to my normal self. Although I am dreading February (our due date)

My hope and wish for 2011 is that The Hubby and I can come to terms with the loss of our little one, and accept the fertility issue we have been dealt.

One way or another 2011 has got to be better than 2010