Lil' Man got his walking papers from daycare today. They said he is so out of control that they can no longer care for him. I am really stuck. Do we give him up or do we keep on trying.
I don't even know what to say. He knows EXACTLY what to do to manipulate. I know how frustrated you are!! Consider talking to DCS and asking them to PAY YOU the same amount they were paying the daycare + you salary to stay home with him. I guarentee it's cheaper than moving him. Then again, that might be your worst nightmare! I wish I had your answers. I know how stressed and saddened you are!
Are there possibly any home day cares with someone experienced with the system and similar kids? That happened to me with two day cares for a two year old and then found a home day care with adoptive mom dealt with rad. Good luck! Prayers!
Oh goodness. I'm so sorry. I know how hard it is to keep going - to have to find motivation with every morning. I'll be praying for you - and praying for creative ideas to come your way! But also find comfort in that you have done so much to love this little boy, so much to show him love. Possibly, you've done everything you can. He won't forget the love you've shown him.
You must do what is best for you, your family and your health.
You have been a wonderful, loving, resourceful, excepting mom who stuck up for her little boy through thick and thin. You have done so much for him and shown him what unconditional love and family looks like even if he can't accept it.
Don't follow just your heart on this one because I know it will lead you right back to him but that may not be the best thing. You have a little peanut to take care of and I can only imagine the stress you must be under trying to work with and help lil man.
Please don't think I am being cold. I am not.
Look at it this way... maybe that foster/adopt home is out there just waiting on that call and your lil man is their forever son. They may not know it right now but after he comes to them, he may be just the son they have been waiting on. Some people are called to parent children with the significant problems lil man has and can't wait for that call.
Tough decision but don't beat yourself up over this because you have done all you could do to this point for him. No judgement here either way.
I think you would enjoy your pregnancy more if you did not have all this stress. You need to take care of you and your little baby first and foremost. Stress is not good for your pregnancy...at least that's what I've been told.
I am also pregnant and have a foster daughter. The little things that never bothered me before drive me crazy now. The hormones are raging and it is so hard not take things personal and get mad about anything and everything, even when I don't want to. Now that I'm in the second trimester, she stresses me out, I get contractions (braxton hicks), heart palpitations...everything is normal and fine, I've been checked out, but it stresses me out even more! I hate that I let her get to me like that, but I can't help it. Anyway, her behaviors are nothing at all like your little man, pretty typical 5 year old stuff. She will be back with mom next month and I hate to admit it, but I look forward to a peaceful 3rd trimester.
I agree with Kelly, depending on what you feel is right there may very well be a light at the end of the tunnel if you do let them move him maybe that WILL be the RIGHT family for him.
We never know and of course we want to keep them safe but right now his situation isn't working for you it is working against you.
Oh no! As if you didn't have enough to deal with. I am so sorry. Only you can decide what is best for you and your family. I wish you all the best!
ReplyDeleteI don't even know what to say. He knows EXACTLY what to do to manipulate. I know how frustrated you are!! Consider talking to DCS and asking them to PAY YOU the same amount they were paying the daycare + you salary to stay home with him. I guarentee it's cheaper than moving him. Then again, that might be your worst nightmare! I wish I had your answers. I know how stressed and saddened you are!
ReplyDeleteAre there possibly any home day cares with someone experienced with the system and similar kids? That happened to me with two day cares for a two year old and then found a home day care with adoptive mom dealt with rad. Good luck! Prayers!
ReplyDeleteOh goodness. I'm so sorry.
ReplyDeleteI know how hard it is to keep going - to have to find motivation with every morning.
I'll be praying for you - and praying for creative ideas to come your way!
But also find comfort in that you have done so much to love this little boy, so much to show him love. Possibly, you've done everything you can. He won't forget the love you've shown him.
You must do what is best for you, your family and your health.
ReplyDeleteYou have been a wonderful, loving, resourceful, excepting mom who stuck up for her little boy through thick and thin. You have done so much for him and shown him what unconditional love and family looks like even if he can't accept it.
Don't follow just your heart on this one because I know it will lead you right back to him but that may not be the best thing. You have a little peanut to take care of and I can only imagine the stress you must be under trying to work with and help lil man.
Please don't think I am being cold. I am not.
Look at it this way... maybe that foster/adopt home is out there just waiting on that call and your lil man is their forever son. They may not know it right now but after he comes to them, he may be just the son they have been waiting on. Some people are called to parent children with the significant problems lil man has and can't wait for that call.
Tough decision but don't beat yourself up over this because you have done all you could do to this point for him. No judgement here either way.
You are a great mom.
I'm sorry to hear it, sweetie. I agree with the others...you will make the right decision!!
ReplyDeleteAnd I just saw you are pregnant!! CONGRATS!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteI think you would enjoy your pregnancy more if you did not have all this stress. You need to take care of you and your little baby first and foremost. Stress is not good for your pregnancy...at least that's what I've been told.
ReplyDeleteI am also pregnant and have a foster daughter. The little things that never bothered me before drive me crazy now. The hormones are raging and it is so hard not take things personal and get mad about anything and everything, even when I don't want to. Now that I'm in the second trimester, she stresses me out, I get contractions (braxton hicks), heart palpitations...everything is normal and fine, I've been checked out, but it stresses me out even more! I hate that I let her get to me like that, but I can't help it. Anyway, her behaviors are nothing at all like your little man, pretty typical 5 year old stuff. She will be back with mom next month and I hate to admit it, but I look forward to a peaceful 3rd trimester.
I agree with Kelly, depending on what you feel is right there may very well be a light at the end of the tunnel if you do let them move him maybe that WILL be the RIGHT family for him.
ReplyDeleteWe never know and of course we want to keep them safe but right now his situation isn't working for you it is working against you.