Tuesday, November 30, 2010


Its has been three years since I saw you last. 

Three long years how can that be? 

It all happened so quickly.

In Oct 2006 she was diagnosed with stage one breast cancer.

In December 06  she had a mastectomy, and started chemo.

In May 07 she was finished with her treatment, and her cancer was in remission.

Cancer was a thing of the passed, my Mum had beat it.  It was "only stage one" Which has a 98% survival rate.

In September 07 she was in Scotland, having a grand time.  Half way into her trip she developed a nagging cough.

When she returned home she went to the doctor, who diagnosed her with pneumonia. 

For weeks the doctors pumped our mum full of antibiotics  trying to rid of her the pneumonia that we assume she had caught on the flight.

September turned into October, and the cough was still hanging around.  Mum was becoming tired,

One night in Oct, 2007 Mum couldn't breath, Jeff (my step dad), took her to the hospital.  She was treated for pneumonia, as well as a collapsed lung.

Test after test, we were told she had pneumonia, a collapsed lung, and a Pleural effusion.

  So much time was wasted, before we found out the real issue. 

The cancer had returned.  It had metastasized to our Mothers lungs causing her lungs to collapse, fluid to build up, and in the end, taking her life.

What went wrong?

How can something with a 98% cure rate, take someone's live in a matter of weeks.

Once it was rediscovered , she had no chance,no chance at all of beating the cancer.

Too much time had been wasted.

Why was she given the all clear in May?

and then again in August?


Why did they say it was pneumonia?

Why didnt they do more tests?

Why didnt they treat her sooner?

Why did she have to suffer?

Why did we have to watch her suffer?

Why did she have to die?

Sunday, November 21, 2010


I spoke with the licensing  worker at the  DFACS office on Friday to see if she had heard back from our old agency.  She hasn't had time to contact them.  I hate waiting around!

We've done everything that we need to do with the exception of our drug test, but that is something the worker needs to set up.

Once she receives our home study from our agency (if they hand it over) then we will need an inspection.  After the inspection we submit all of our info the the county for approval. 


Let's hope it just doesn't take forever!

Wednesday, November 17, 2010


Today the hubs and I went into our local DFACS office  for finger prints.  The finger print lady was dumbfounded when I told her I wasn't a citizen of the good ole US of A. 

She spouted out "how come you have a valid US drivers licence?"  Hello I ain' t  here illegally. Sure I cant vote, but i'm allowed to drive!!


In all of finger print ladies years, she's never finger printed someone who wasn't a citizen. 

People assume because I have brown hair, hazel eyes, and speak  proper English that I must be American. I'm sure the Yankee/Scottish/Southern accent doesn't help!

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Beach bound!

Hubby and I are heading to the beach next Tuesday.  We will spend Thanksgiving with my sisters, and their children.  I can't wait to see them!! Hard to believe the hubby and I got married 2 1/2 yrs ago at the same beach!

Friday, November 12, 2010

I'm tired..

Last night like many nights I cried myself to sleep.

I'm tired.

I'm tired of crying myself to sleep, longing for a little baby I never got to meet.

I'm tired of being disappointed each month when my pregnancy test says "not pregnant".

I'm tired of  waking up at the same time each day to chart my BBT.

I'm tired of hearing people say "just relax it will happen."  "I never charted, and I have four kids"

I'm tired of putting on a front.  Acting like there is nothing wrong.

I'm tired of doctors offices, and surgery centers  (I've had two surgery's this year and 24 doctors appointments)

I'm tired of hearing people complain about how hard parenting is.  I would give my left leg to stay up all night with a crying baby.

I'm tired of pregnant friends complaining about morning sickness, and backaches.  I would gladly throw up every day if it meant my baby would still be here.

I'm tired of playing the waiting game. 

I'm tired of being bitter.

I'm tired of crying myself to sleep.

nkm kk ws2:6* n

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Hey what's going on?

After staying up late countless nights in a row I finally finished Lil' Man's life book.  However the case worker didnt show to pick it up.  GRRRRRR

Hubby is healing well after his surgery.  He was back to school three days later with all of his staples in tow!

Last night we had a "new foster parent orientation"  What a joke! We drove 45 minutes to another county to sign four papers and watch a 15 minute video!

Tonight is our monthly foster parent meeting.  We  don't need the training, but I still have to attend because I keep signing myself up to help out! This year I will be Christmas shopping for the 26 children currently in care. I'm also VP of the fundraising committee and the substitute treasure.

Oh and I make all the Easter baskets!

Sunday, November 7, 2010


Lil' Man's case worker called me today to let me know she will be over on Monday to pick up his life book. Apparently the new  case worker wants it.  Problem is i've only  scrapped  the first 6 months of his stay.  I spent all evening uploading pictures to one of the local pharmacy's.  My plan is to work on it all weekend, in-between work.

So I placed my order.. The little window pops up telling me I can pick my pictures up any time after 9;30am on November 15th? WTF?

I just spent over five hours sifting thru pictures on my computer, and uploading them to their damn site. 

(written Friday night)

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Going fast!

Yesterday I had a physical for foster care.  Hubby will get his tomorrow.  Next Monday we have a mandatory two hour orientation.  The following Wednesday (the 17th)  we have an appointment to get our finger prints done! The only other thing left to schedule is a drug screening.

If our old agency hands over the home study and a few other important papers we will be ready to submit all of our info to the city by the end of the month!!!!

Finally something in my life is going at great speed in the right direction!!!!!!!!!!