Friday, July 31, 2009

IEP update

When we first started the IEP meeting the “team” had already decided that Lil Man would be placed in a special needs classroom. The based their decisions on year old unmedicated evaluations.

He is a different little boy now.

The told me the regular ed classrooms were full. I told them I was sorry that their classes were full, but I registered him in May.   I suggested they find a spot for him.  They assumed me they had no spots.

However by the end of the IEP meeting they found a spot for him.   He will be placed in a mainstream classroom with 19 other kids.  There is a teacher and an assistant.  He will have an aid for one hour a day during the most structured part of the school day.  He will also get a daily consult with the special needs teacher.

He will have a speech, OT, and PT evaluation within the first two weeks of school. We have another meeting scheduled for the beginning of Sept. to update/amend his IEP.

I am worried about him getting lost. As usual I typed up a letter and emailed it to his teacher.  They are under strict instruction to watch him when they are transitioning to activities outside of the class.

Lil Man is so excited about “going to the big school”  Although he was a little disappointed when I told him he wont be riding the bus.

Weekend getaway

The kids ( Lil Man, and my niece) and I are heading to Atlanta tomorrow to meet up with my best friend, and her two kiddos.  We are heading to the Georgia Aquarium, and to my FAVORITE store in the whole wide world IKEA

I just so happen to have a gift card to IKEA, thanks to my loving in laws.

Hubby is taking off to St. Augustine with one of his good buddies.  I certainly hope they behave.  Two men with no wife or kids, = trouble.

Hope everyone has a great weekend.

Thursday, July 30, 2009


Tomorrow is Lil Man’s IEP (individualized education plan) meeting.  Thing’s better go my way or it will get ugly! I want Lil Man mainstreamed.  In his previous home he was in a special needs class.  He has come so far in such a short amount of time, that I feel  he would do well in a mainstream  class. He needs to be around his typical peers.

Wish us luck..

School starts MONDAY!

It never fails.

We have tired to go swimming three times this week at our local YMCA.  Each time our outing has been cut short.  First someone's nasty sweet baby pooped in the swimming pool, then it thundered, today the Heavens opened up on us.

Don’t these people know how much work it is to get four kids (Parker, Willie B, Lil Man, and my niece) dressed, and slathered in sun screen.  Can’t Mother nature see how much effort it takes to get my little darlings to the pool??

Me sweating my butt off isn't worth 20 minutes in the water.  We need at least an hour. Then I have to deal with whiney kids.  BUT I wanted to swim.  WAHHH

Vent over.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Target toy clearance

Each July Target stores all across the good ole US of A reset their toy area.  This means that the toys that have been sitting on the self all year long must go. 

This morning I headed to me local Target with three little monkeys  in tow.   I happened upon the toy isle just as the employees where putting the final markdown on the toys.

75% off!

I felt as if I had hit the jackpot!!

Despite having three nosey monkeys with me, I still managed to rack up.

I got $484.28 worth of toys for $129.00!!

I wont have to buy another birthday or Christmas gift until the next big sale in January.

I would post pictures, but my sisters have already been teasing me.  I can hear their comments already.. Christmas morning should be fun when their children are opening their $3.00 Christmas gift. 


Tuesday, July 28, 2009


Someone spare me please.. I am not in the greatest of moods due to the lack of sleep I got last night.  Many thanks to my Lil Man for playing games in the middle of the night.

At first he woke up because he was scared.  I calmed him down, and put him back to bed.  Then it turned into a game.  He would open his door so that his alarm would sound.  Then he would stand in the hallway waiting for myself, or my husband to come out of our room.  As soon as he heard is coming he would take off running back into bed.

Within a hours time he must have gotten up at least 20 times. I finally had enough.  Being the mean mommy that I am I told him I was going to turn off night light.  I said “night lights are to use when we are sleeping.” “Since you are not going to sleep I am going to turn it off.” He quickly hopped back into bed, and I didn't hear from him until 6am.

From the moment I walked into daycare to pick him up he has been testing my patients.  Whining, crying,hitting, kicking, and being  down right defiant.  I know it’s because he’s tired, but hey I am tired too!

It’s 7:43pm, and he’s out like a light. He didnt go to bed without a fight,  as soon as his tired little head lay on the pillow, he was sound asleep.


Does it make me old if I go to bed before 9pm?

Monday, July 27, 2009


I am feeling pretty shitty at the moment.  Tonight we had a visit with Lil Man’s clueless county worker.  I really don’t think her evaluator goes all the way to the top floor. It takes her weeks to answer an email, and even then you don’t get a real answer.

I officially told her that we would not be adopting Lil Man.  I signed “the papers.'” She said she will contact the other family this week.  I asked her what type of transition would take place.  She said it would be best for them to meet Lil Man, and then for him to transition into their home full-time. No weekend visits.  I don’t agree.  I think the weekend visits would be beneficial for him.

I am not sure how much longer we will have him, but I am glad we were able to make a small impact on his life.  We were able to show him what it’s like to live in a typical family.  What is like to take a vacation, and how much fun life can be.

I will always wonder what he’s up too.  He has made a huge impact in my life, and my marriage.  I see my husband in a different light, he is super Dad!

Sunday, July 26, 2009

My eyes are burning

What has happened to my great little sleeper who goes to bed at 8pm, and rises at 7:30am?  Last night it was 9:30pm before he went to sleep.  He was awake again at 11:15pm, crying for his “Daddy” (the hubby), who was out running the streets with his buddies.

At 4:15am, I head his little foot steps making his way into my bedroom.  Mama, can I get into your bed? The state doesn’t allow foster children to sleep in their “parents” bed, but what they don’t know wont hurt.  Usually I would have allowed him to climb in until he fell asleep, and then I would move him back to his room.  But there was no space in the bed, as my niece Jannae climbed in bed with us around 4am.

I walked him back to his room, patted his back, and gave him another kiss.  He told me “mama sit on my chair.” I told him “No its night time.”  Walked out and closed the door.

6am I hear a squeaky voice “morning cute mama.”  I told him it was still night time, and to get back into bed.  He protested the sun is up.  Barley..

I slung him in between hubby, and I Jannae was at the bottom), and we all feel back asleep.

At 6pm tonight he was being super crabby, and defiant.  I knew he had to be in bed on time tonight, or all hell was going to break loose.

We did our normal bedtime routine, lights out where 7:45pm.

All was well until 9pm, when he came flying out of his room, screaming.  His eyes were still closed.  Hubby walked him back into bed.  Told him good night, and closed the door. 

We haven’t heard from him as of yet.  Hopefully he will not show his cute little face until at least 7am!

Saturday, July 25, 2009

family fun

I was awakened this today, by Lil Man saying “hey there cute mama.” We snuggled in bed for a little while, before getting up for breakfast. We ate breakfast, and went back to bed to chat, read books, have a pillow fight, and a little tickle session.

After we got out lazy butts out of bed, we went to the local pound to give the dogs, and cats some good lovin, followed by too many treats.

We came home for lunch, ate leftovers.

We did some crafting.

Took a 2 hours nap.

Followed by a golf cart ride around the plantation.

Came home ate dinner, bath’s and Pj’s.

Watched a movie, spirit.

9pm lights out.

Friday, July 24, 2009

Get a backbone.

So I am not as tough as I thought I was.  I spoke with Lil Man’s case worker today before court.  She was calling to tell me that birth Mom called, and said she didn't think she would be able to make it to court.  She told me that depending on the judge, he may postpone the hearing.  Thankfully she did show, and TPR(termination of parental rights) took place.

She then asked me if we were interested in adopting him.  I regretfully, told her no.   The case manager went on to tell me, that she has a family in the next county over who is interested in meeting him.

I bawled like a baby.

How selfish of me.

This has been the goal from the start, to help our Lil Man find his forever family.

I just don’t want him to think he wasn't good enough, or that we abandoned him. 

I can’t bare to think of him laying in bed, crying for me, and me not being there to comfort him.

After I got myself together we headed to Chick fil A for his last visit. All was well until it was time to say good bye. There wasn’t a dry eye in sight.

The caseworker looked at me as if I had two heads.  I don’t think she understood why I was crying.

I was crying for my Lil Man, and for his BM. She did the best she could, with what she had. Sadly her best wasn't good enough.

I was crying for his 11 yr old cousin M, who told him. “I hope your new mommy let’s me visit you.” “I love you  Lil Man".”

I was crying for his aunt who tired to keep him, but just couldn’t because she didn’t have the proper resources.

Whether he is allowed future contact with his birth family, will be up to the family that adopts him. I hope they allow him to keep in touch, even if its only via email.

For now I have given his aunt my email address so that she can “check in”, and see how he is doing.

The start of a new chapter

Today is our little guys last visit with his birth family.  His parent’s rights are being terminated.  Such a bitter sweet day.  While I am in agreement with the courts that he should not be in his Mothers custody, it still breaks my heart to know that after today, he will not see his Mother until he is at least 18 yrs old.

I have written down all of his family members names, and current address.  I have scrapbooked pictures of him along with his birth family that we took at our last visit.  I documented his half brothers full name, and birth date.

I grilled his Aunt, for important information, such as when he walked, his first words, how old he was when he got his first tooth, etc.  It is my hope that through his scrapbook, he will feel a connection with his birth family.  I also hope that if and when he wants to find his birth family the information I have gather, will make the search flawless.

For four years our Lil man has lead a very unstable life, bouncing from one home to another.  Today is the start of a new life.  Our Lil Man is legally free for adoption.  It is my hope that he will find his forever family soon.  He deserve that, and so much more.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

He did it

He did it, he did it..He pooped on the potty!!! YEA!!! No more crappy underwear!

They made you who you are.

I am sitting here watching my niece Jannae out of the corner of my eye.  She is reading a Junie B . Jones book.  It’s hard to believe that she is 8 1/2 yrs old.  It seems like just yesterday I was changing her diapers. 

Most 8 yr olds these days think they are to old to pretend play, but that is one of Jannae’s favorite passed times.  All week long Jannae and Parker have been playing school.  Of course Jannae is the teacher, and Parker alternates between being the student, and the teachers assistant.

I love that she is mature and responsible, that she can be trusted to do tasks without supervision.  Yet she’s not in a hurry to grow up.  I hope that she holds onto her child like innocents for many more years to come. 

She has endured a lot in her eight years of life, including loosing her best friend, and cousin Teagyn.  The passing of her Grandma, and Grandpa.   As tragic as many of those experience have been, she would not be the little girl that she is today, if things had played out differently. 

Tuesday night as we were chatting she told me she was sorry that both my parent’s had died.  She told me that Teagyn still comes over to play. She said “She usually comes over when I am sleeping".”   “we  like to play Uno, play with my horses, and talk".”

She is wise beyond her years.

I wish I could freeze time.


Last night I sat and read most of my old blog, some of it brought me to tears.  So much has happened in the passed few years, sometimes it doesn't seem as if it is real.

I’ve been feeling a little down lately, missing my sisters, and the rest of my extended family who live in Scotland.  I think back to my childhood years of family birthday parties, and holiday celebrations with all of my extended family.  It makes me sad to know that my future children won’t get to experience any of that. 

Family is so important, it takes a village. Unfortunately   my husband is not as close to his family. Hopefully one day soon, we can move a little closer to them.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Poop goes in the potty..

We seemed to have had some regression in the potty training department.  I am not sure what's going on, but Lil Man has pooped in his pants three days in a row.  I am hoping he is just readjusting to life at home/”school” after our vacation.  I have promised him a popsicle as soon as he poop’s on the potty.   Keep your fingers crossed, or else I am going to have to buy stock  in Hanes.

Who are these people?


My name is K I'm 29 married to W(33) aka the hubby. I am the youngest of four. I was born in Scotland, and moved to the good ole US of A in 1996. Hubby and I now reside in a small town in SouthWest Georgia. I am a full-time nanny of two (P age 6 and W-B 3). I've been with the same family since 2006! My hubby is a full-time (career) student hoping to become an architect. He is super talented and the light of my life. I truly don't know how I would have survived my 20's without him by my side.

I originally started blogging after my Mum passed away. Mostly to keep everyone up to date with what's happening within our family but since then it has evolved into my journal. I mostly blog about our experiences as foster parents, and mostly recently began blogging about our infertility troubles.

The cast:Pete Spud and Lilly are our three cats

Mark, Nicola, and Lesley are my siblings.

Jannae (nae), Alex, Jaxon, Erin, Carrie, and Baby Ava are my nieces and nephews

Teagyn, my sweet baby girl, our angel- is my niece who passed away
My Mum is Mum also in Heaven.

Peter- my Dad is watching over us

P and Willie B- are the boys I nanny for.

Belly Bean is the little baby we lost in July 2010 (miscarriage)

Lil' Man our first placement (4) April 09-July 2010

Any questions?

Don't forget to check back often.

Do forgive the spelling mistakes. I type much faster than my brain can think!

Got style?

See what happens when you get married and decided to become foster parents..You've got to change your blog name, because it doesn't fit your new life anymore..Good bye  Smith-Hudson's..Hello daily life..Sanford style!

Monday, July 20, 2009

moving on

So I have decided that I do not need two blogs..its too much work now that I am no longer foot loose and fancy free. So I am going to combine my foster care blog, as well as my family blog. This is where you come in. I need help coming up with a cool name. Any suggestions?


moving on

So I have decided that I do not need two blogs..its too much work now that I am no longer foot loose and fancy free. So I am going to combine my foster care blog, as well as my family blog. This is where you come in. I need help coming up with a cool name. Any suggestions?


Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Are we there yet..

So far we've driven well over a thousands miles. We've been hikiing, watched the sun set, slept in, had a bbq, went swimming in a water fall, visited an Indian reservation, shopped, play at the parked,visited historic builtmore, stayed in a hotel (a first lil man), swam in the pool ate some GREAT food....Shopped some more..visited a massive toy store, and many many more things.

Right now we are at my sisters house in Virgnia. Lil Man had a great time playing with the other children. Tomorrow we are off to the beach (another first), and then heading to my other sisters for Pizza, and crafts!

Monday, July 13, 2009

time flies..

Time flies when your having fun..Today is our last day in the mountains. We've been keeping busy shopping, visiting waterfalls, splashing in the lake, taking naps, and checking out the towns around us. Lil Man is doing really well, he has only had one big melt down the entire trip! Tomorrow we are going to Asheville, NC to visit the biltmore house. I am a little nervous about taking Lil Man there, but keeping my fingers crossed. Then its off to Virginia Beach to visit my sisters, and their children!!

Check back later for pictures..

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Don't give me that look

Can someone tell me why I am letting other peoples comments get to me? I am no longer struggling with the fact that we are not going to adopt our Lil Man. I know in my heart it is not meant to be. As I have said before we came into this situation to foster not to adopt. By adopting Lil Man it will close the doors to foster care. Every single time people find out we are not going to adopt him they have this look upon their face as if they cannot believe what I just said. Several people have said God led him into our lives, for us to adopt. How do you know that? Couldn't God just lead him to us for us to care for and love on, until he finds his forever family?

Monday, July 6, 2009


We are going on vacation this upcoming week, for almost two weeks. We have a few stops on our trip, first stop the mountains in North Carolina, and then onto Ashville, NC and lastly off to Virginia to pick up my niece 'J". J is coming to stay with us for a few weeks as she does ever summer.

I was trying my hardest to keep our vacation a secret from Lil Man, because he cannot handle a change in routine. Every five minutes for the last 48 hours I have heard "mom are we going on vacation now.? "Is it vacation time?" "Are we going to pick up Jannae yet?" "Is it time to go to the mountains?"

"Not yet hunny" is all I can say. "We have two more days, see look at the calender".

I am going to hide the suite cases before bed tonight with hopes that he will forget about it for at least a few hours.

Wishful thinking..

For rent

Last night while laying in bed reality reared it's ugly head. I was over come with emotions knowing that I will never see my Mother again in this life. Despite the fact that her ashes are resting upon a table in my hallway, I like to think I will see her when I visit Virginia.

So hard to beleive so much time has passed. My sister told me that my Mum's old house is for rent. For some sick reason I want to stop by, and peak in the window when I go to Virginia next week.

I want to see if it's still decorated in the same fashion my Mum had it.

Does the house smell like my Mum?

Are her plants still alive?

What about the bunnies, and birds she used to feed?

Oh how I wish I could hear her voice, one more time.

Sunday, July 5, 2009

Happy 4th

Yesterday was another day full of first for our Lil Man

First time eating a snow cone
First time holding a sparkler
First time watching fireworks
Fist time having his face painted
Fist time getting a tattoo
First time laying outside on a blanket watching the stars.

What a great day we had together.

Friday, July 3, 2009

Ahh shit..

I guess I spoke too soon. My Lil Man has been off the wall the last two days. Let's see what happened today

-peed himself out of defiance
-spit on someone
-told a kid at chick fil a "I'm going to jack you up"
-told me to shut up
-ran away while outside with hubby
-had a 30 mintue screaming fit
-called me a bitch
-told me he was going to kill me

But on a good note he didnt cry or throw down when it was time to leave the pack.

In your face

There are somethings in life I don't understand and blended families who treat the children differently is one of them. My husband's parents divorced when he was 12, his Dad remarried shortly there after.

His step Mother has two boys from a previous marriage. Her boys have always been treated as a apart of the family. They call Wayne's father," dad". However the step Mom does not treat Wayne, and his two biological siblings the same. She prefers her children, over them. Now I have never been a Mother, let alone a step Mother. But I do know that all children need love, and should be treated the same. Even into adulthood. Weather Wayne, and his siblings admit it, it does effect their lives.

They don't try to hide the the differences it's IN YOUR FACE, 24/7. The fact that Wayne's Dad allows it to go on makes him just as guilty.

Her boys (who supposed to be grown Men) are handed everything on a silver platter, while Wayne is eating out of a dog bowl.

What do you think that does for a persons self esteem?

vent over..

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

hold tight

Lil Man continues to do so much better. I am so proud of all of the progress he has made! When we first got him taking him out to the store was a horrific act. He was like a caged animal who had just been let loose. I would have to "fight" to get him to sit in the shopping car. Getting the buckle on him was a whole other story. He would wiggle out of the buckle, stand up, try jump out. Scream blood murder.

A few times I took him to the store with no intentions of buying anything, it was solely for practise. Several times I left the store empty handed, reminding him that we had to leave because he was not listening with his ears.

Fast forward to last night. After dinner Lil Man and I headed to the store to pick up some groceries. He was given the choice to walk holding onto the cart, or to sit in the seat. He decided that he wanted to walk. After a few minutes he took off. I snatched him up before he could get too far, and buckled him into the seat.

I told him "you did not listen with your ears you have to ride in the shopping cart."

A few minutes later he said "I am ready to listen with my ears."

So I allowed him to get back out and hold onto the cart...For the rest of the shopping trip his hand was firmly attached to the shopping cart.

It's nice to blend in with everyone else in the store. I don't like being the center of attention.

Super savings!

I have posted before about how I have been clipping coupons, as well as printing them from online. Last night I went to publix with my coupons in tow. Here is what I bought:

3 boxes trail mix cereal

2 packs of OM all beef hot dogs

5-8 packs of Dr. peper

6-canisters of crystal light

2-boxes of kotex tampons

1-21lbs tub 0f fresh step cat litter

64 load bottle of arm n hammer

pulix brand dish soap

My total before coupons was: $78:07

After coupons and other discount I paid: $30.31

Total saved: $47.76 cents!