Today is my handsome hubbies birthday!
We had a low key celebration because Lil' Man is still sick. Happy birthday Mr. Sexy!
Lil' Man has been pretty much sick the entire month of February. First he was wheezing, then he had croup, and then an ear infection. Now he has a stomach virus and strep on top of that. Sigh
I didn't think it was humanly possible to vomit and poop so much. It all started at 4am Friday morning. My boss was less than thrilled when I called in sick considering I just started back two weeks ago.
This morning he look awful, and was still not able to keep down liquids so I took him to the doctor. Sure enough he was dehydrated. They gave him some anti_ nausea medication and he was finally able to keep down liquids.
The ped was little concerned because he had a fever which isnt typical of the stomach bugs that are going around. So she decided to give him a strep test, which came back positive. That explains the stinky breath.
He was so out of it that he slept almost the entire two hours we were at the Dr's office. Too bad he wont sleep now cause I could really use a nap.
My poor lil guy woke up at 4am this morning shouting "I just pooped my pants." So not what I wanted to hear at 4am. Seems the kiddo has caught the stomach virus that is going around. We're on our 4th pair of Pjs, and our third bed sheet.
This morning I was rubbing his back while he was throwing up trying to do my motherly duties. I can't stand puke so I threw up too. Almost on the kids head.
I ran to the store before hubby left, and got Lil' Man Gatorade. He is pissed because he wants to eat, but I told him he has to hold down some Gatorade before I feed him some dried toast.
I sure hope he's feeling better soon. This may be his last weekend with us.
Things have been all out of whack here. Lil' Man is driving me insane..Oh wait I think he's already drove me insane. Is this his way of making the separation easier? Because its working.
He has been defiant times 1,000.
The kids at school found a frog, the teachers assistant had a little box for them to put it inside. As she was walking toward the frog Lil' Man looked at her and laughed, and then squashed the frog with his foot.
He threw a chair at one of the teachers, spit on another, stabbed a kid with a pencil, stripped (again), and refused to wear his shoes (they sent him home in 35 degree weather barefoot) He didnt learn a thing from that lesson, because he did the same thing the next day.
I hate it when he gets stuck in a manic cycle, life isnt fun for anyone. He wakes up pissed off, and goes to bed pissed of. What kind of life is that? His eyes were open for 15 seconds this morning, before he found something to start moaning about.
The food is too hot, or maybe its too cold. Oh what his shirt has a pin sized stain, his shoes are ugly. The other pair of shoes are too tight. The brown jacket doesn't match, and neither does the spider man one.
His toast is too crunchie, and there is not enough milk in his cereal. He wants to play outside, but wait its too cold out here. He wants to watch Dora, but not that Dora the one that was on last night.
I hope, and pray (and I ain't even a prayer) that we get over this manic phase soon. I want to have some enjoyment with him during his last month with us.
On Sunday I got a sweet email from Lil' Man's adoptive Mom, thanking me for taking such good care of her son. While it felt good to receive such a compliment, I really don't think I deserve it. After all I am "giving him up."
If anyone deserves a compliment its her. She is committing herself to him FOREVER. Something I am not willing/able to do.
My hat is off to all those parents who adopt children with severe emotional/behavior issues. Sometimes the only thing that has kept me sane during Lil' Man's rage's is the fact that I know this isn't going to last forever. This is not how I am going to spend the rest of my days. As harsh as it may sound its the truth.
The unpredictability of his behaviors takes its toll. I am emotionally spent. I am surprised I don't have high blood pressure (ha ha).
He has been defiant from the moment he opened his eyes today.
Please don't think that I don't love the kid, because I really do. I just dont see how I can parenting him forever while staying sane.
He needs/deserves so much more than we can give him.
I wish there was some magic pill that could make his little brain better.
At night we can hear Lil' Man kicking his mattress while sleeping. He often wakes up with a sore leg. I've mentioned the kicking to his pediatrician as well as to his case worker. The pediatrician just brushed it off.
Tonight while laying in bed I heard him kicking and decided to Google "kicking during sleep"
I came up with Periodic Limb Movement Disorder (PLMD). Does anyone have any experience with this disorder? Do you all think its worth mentioning to the doctor again? Should I request a sleep study?
Keep in mind Lil' Man takes respidol at night to help him sleep.
Most parents have little knowledge or awareness of one of the major pediatric sleep disorders that can cause their child extensive daytime behavior problems and nighttime sleep problems or behavior problems: Periodic Limb Movement Disorder (PLMD). PLMD causes lots of bedtime resistance, difficulty falling asleep, or the child /teen refusing to go to sleep. Once the child / teen is asleep, then s/he exhibits lots of restless sleep, including frequent leg kicking or leg jerking movements, rolling around excessively, and moving arm or other body parts frequently that interrupts the child’s deep sleep. This interruption of deep sleep often results in the child feeling irritable, oppositional, tantrumming or expressing excessive frustration or anger in the daytime. Most of these children and adolescents with PLMD display many symptoms of Attention Deficit / Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) or may have a diagnosis of ADHD and are being treated for this disorder or other disorders like Oppositional Defiant Disorder, Conduct Disorder, or other mental health disorders. The good news is that if the Periodic Limb Movement Disorder can be corrected, and it is pretty easy to correct it, these other / adolescent exhibits any of these above-mentioned behavior problems or sleep behavior problems, please read the information below and find out how to screen your child and get treatment for PLMD:
Periodic Limb Movement Disorder (PLMD) is characterized by the periodic (every 20-40 seconds) and sustained (0.5-4.0 seconds in duration) contractions of one or both front leg muscles often causing unperceived arousals or awakenings from light or deep sleep. These contractions result in repetitive jerks for about 2 seconds of the toes, feet, legs, arms, and/or thighs, which often occur in stages 1 and 2 of NREM sleep and disrupt the quality of sleep. There appears to be a strong correlation between Periodic Limb Movement Disorder and ADHD based on initial research by sleep specialists. Sleep specialists and other experts in the field have not been able to determine if the Periodic Limb Movement Disorder causes some forms of ADHD, or whether they both exist simultaneously.
Many children and adolescents with Periodic Limb Movement Disorder display considerable amounts of oppositional behaviors and a very touchy, moody temperament due to not feeling rested when they awaken in the morning. This difficult temperament is caused by their frequent periodic limb movements in the night that prevent these children from getting into their deepest levels of sleep enough hours of the night so they do not feel rested the next morning. Many of these children also resist going to sleep or have difficulty falling asleep at night.
This sleep disorder is correctable or can usually be improved significantly with medication taken before bedtime that diminishes or stops the limb movements. Some sleep specialists are prescribing Neurontin, and some Clonadine or L-Dopa before bedtime. Neurontin and L-Dopa reduce or stop the periodic limb movements so that the student gets a restful night's sleep. The Clonadine helps the student fall asleep quicker so that s/he gets a longer night's sleep, although Clonadine does not stop the leg movements during sleep. Both Neurotin and Clonadine have been used successfully with children for several years, whereas L-Dopa use with children is newer with little known about long-term effects on children.
Lil' Man and I were at the store this morning. I was looking around, he was a little further down the isle checking stuff out. He came running towards me with a giant pack of pads shouting "Hey Mom, we need band-aids" lol
The lady standing next to me just about died from laughter.
Out of the mouth of babies.
Lil' Man just finished raging for 30+ minutes which consisted of him screaming, trying to hit me, throwing things, flopping about on the floor like a freaking fish out of water, spitting, yelling, name calling, and acting psychotic.
Currently he is trashing his bedroom, and I dont even care. I gave up and walked away. Rage all you like my little love bug, just stay away from me.
I am tired, worn out. I don't know how much longer I can deal with these behaviors.
We were hoping that the staffing between Lil' Mans case worker, her supervisor, and the adoptive family would take place this week. But know one can coordinate their schedule. The staffing will take place march 2nd, but there can be no more visits in between WTF?
Lil' Man asks every night when he can go over there to spend the night. (do you know how OCD my boy is?) I hope they allow him to have his first weekend visit right after the staffing.
Lets get this show on the road people.
A few times a week before bed I tell Lil' Man his story. It starts off like this...There once was a little baby named Lil' Man who grew in his birth Mothers tummy. His birth Mom's name is XYZ. XYZ loves her baby, but she was not able to take care of him, because she is sick.
So Lil' Man went to live with Mr. X and Mrs. X, they were his foster family. (short version he has had many more placements) When he was 4 yrs old he came to live with us. We are also his foster parents. We love him very much
Soon Lil' Man will get an adoptive family. Where he will live forever, and ever.
(Lil' man shouts out the underlined parts)
After ending his story on Sunday night he said "Mommy, I want "S", and "P" to be my adoptive parents."
I said "Oh yeah?" "I think S, and P would make great parents. Maybe you can spend the night over there one night". Lil' Man replied "can I go now, please?"
This is huge!!! Whenever we have mentioned adoption in the passed he has said he wants us to be his adoptive family.
So I called S (the adoptive mom), and made her cry while telling her the story.
Can you feel the love?
Thanks to Kelly bio/foster mom of 8, for the sunshine blog award!
The rules are:
1. Post picture on your blog or in your post.
2. Link to the person who gave you the award.
3. Spread the sunshine to 12 blogs.
I am a blog junkie and have learned a lot from reading other foster care, adoption, and FAS blogs. I can honestly say I have read more helpful information on peoples blogs, than I have in books.
So here goes:
Mama drama- there is a lot of drama going on over there! One FC just return home, another is hearing voices, and their sweet baby is transitioning back to her birth Mom.
Torina-is funny! She has three adopted children. One of which has FAS, just like Lil' Man. She also has endo. I enjoy reading her blog, as her posts make me laugh!
J is also an adoptive parent, who is doing a fab job! She thinks her youngest son has FASD.
Dana just adopted her first child! She is also a foster parent. Congratulations on your adoption!
That's all for now, because i'm at work, and really should be working..
So my first day back at work since my surgery sucked. Well the kids behaved, but I wore myself out! I was sound asleep by 8:30pm, and slept until 7 this morning. Let's hope this worn out feeling doesn't last long. Going to bed at 8:30, wont work in the baby making department. ha
Today Lil' Man, and I spent the afternoon with his adoptive family. We went to the aquarium, and then the park. After the park we walked around the lake. I tired my best to give up control, and let the adoptive Mom do the parenting, but its hard, cause I am a control freak lol.
The visit went very well, Lil' Man asked if he could come to their house and play. They have to have staffing with Lil' Mans case worker, before we begin weekend visits.
Hoping the staffing takes place this week.
Adoptive Mom has already taken Lil' Man's IEP to the school! If all goes well, i'm guessing he will be placed there within 4-6 weeks.
I feel so good about this family!
Thats all for now!
Lil' Man went through a phase of stripping while at school this week. Tuesday he came home in 40 degree weather wearing his under shirt, backwards, and inside out. No, shirt, jacket, or hat.
The day before that he came home, crying that his shoes where hurting his feet. Apparently he took his socks off during the day, and refused to put them back on.
I said "well dear thats what happens when you take your socks off, you get sore feet".
No sympathy from me. Aren't I a lovely Mother?
Tuesday night we took away all of his cars, and told him he could not have them back until he kept his clothes on. I told him he cannot walk around school nude.
He kicked, screamed, spit, and said a few nasty words. But I didn't give in. The cars remained in my closet all day yesterday, because he stripped again. This time down to his undies (LMAO).
Today he came bursting in the front door. "Mom, Mom I kept my clothes on al day." "Can I have my cars back", he asked.
I checked is folder to make sure he was telling the truth (he's quite the little liar) sure enough he kept his clothes on.
So I told him he could go into my room, and carry the mound of cars back into his room. He ran into my room while shouting "oh yeah baby i'm getting my cars back."
Lets hope all the stripping is behind us.
Its official I need to be committed. I cannot stop crying. What in the hell did they do to me during surgery? It doesn't help that the forbidden Aunt made a visit three days post op.
I can't read anything or watch videos about Haiti without bawling. The hubby would kneel over if he knew how much Money i've donated to various organizations to help with disaster relief.
Look at this sweet baby girl, sleeping in a cardboard box, at the hospital. The destruction is so great, I do not see how they can recover.
I've read stories of people burning rotten bodies with hopes of getting rid of the smell. Can you imagine?
I encourage you all, to donate $1, $2, $5 or more. Do you really need to eat out for lunch today? Would you wife rather get flowers on valentines day, or to help someone in need? Send your money to help those who need it more than you.
Since surgery I have nothing but top notch care. Friends having been brining us meals, and sending flowers.
I can't help but think of those in Haiti who are still in need of surgery after almost a month. I cant help but think of the Mothers, and Fathers who cant feed their hungry children.
Please donate today
Our agency is being audited by provider relations this week. I got a phone call from the resource coordinator last night asking for copies of my Aug, Sept, and Oct fire drill reports. Isn't this February? Didnt you noticed these things were missing when our home was re-certified in November?
I went through my paper work, and found all but Aug. I know that I faxed it over, because I fax our fire drill report along with our monthly medication logs at the end of every month. She has the med logs, but not the fire drill report.
So because I don't have a copy of the Aug fire drill report, I am in non-compliance. I then get lectured of the importance of fire drills, and the safety of the child (ren) in my care.
She told me that should anyone from our agency or provider relations ask the children about the fire drills, we would be in trouble. WTF?
I said "Lil' Man, can recite our evacuation plan, knows all the exits, and can also tell you where our meeting place is."
I burn dinner or breakfast at least once a month. There is plenty of opportunity for him to learn.
I felt like saying "dont lecture me, because you lost my paper work."
How do you all stay organized? I have paper work coming out me ears!
Thats about all for now.
I was discharged from the hospital late Wednesday night. We've been staying in a hotel close by ever since.
Lil' Man is driving my MIL mad, doing everything he's NOT supposed too. She says its white, he says oh hell no its black. lol
We are heading home early tomorrow. Tomorrow is also Lil' Man's 5th birthday! I am so not looking forward to the four hour drive home. Do you know how many pot wholes are on I-75?
Lil' man already said he's going to punch me in the stomach. Ahh feel the love.
Just a quick update to say surgery went well. I feel like i've been hit by a bus, but other than that life is good. I keep thinking of those in Haiti that do not have proper medical treatment, or pain medication. It reminds me to suck it up, and get going.
The dr was able to save both ovaries, however I lost my left tube. They are not sure of my chances of pregnancy, because we had not tired to get pregnant previous to my diagnosis.
However I am feeling pretty positive.