Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Soap opera

I spoke with Lil' Mans case worker about 4pm today. She told me that Lil' Man would be having another visit with the adoptive family this weekend.   The adoptive family is going out of town over spring break, so  placement has been set for April 10th.

Tonight Lil' Man wanted to call the adoptive family.  Once he was done talking adoptive Mom, and I had a chat.

We went over what I had been told by my case worker.  Adoptive Mom said she was unsure of the April 10th placement date.

I feel like I am living in a soap opera.

I just wanted to say WTF are you unsure of?  Are you adopting him or not.  Quit bullshitting and give me an answer.  This is someone's life you are messing with.  But I will leave that up to the case worker.

Lil' Man has never been told of a placement date, I don't even think he understands the whole "forever" thing.

She ended the conversation by saying we will see how this weekend goes, and touch base afterwards.

Is there usually this much drama involved in a child getting adopted?  To me it seems black and white. Its either a yes we want to adopt, or no.  What is there to think about after all of this time?


  1. It sounds like the parents have mixed feelings. Part of it may be the fear they are not up to it. It is better for the child if the parents resolve these concerns before the child is placed. And while there is not usually this much drama, almost 1/3 of the severe behavior kids disrupt after placement, especially when the child is placed before the parents have had a chance to see them "in action".

    A typical 5 year old has no concept of "forever", so it wouldn't be surprising if "Lil man" lacked it too.

    I will keep him in my prayers.

  2. they are making a huge life decision. I know it is frustrating but it is better to make sure they are a right match. they may have to support him for life if he can not live alone.

  3. I know this, and I don't want him to be placed if they have doubts. We have already committed to caring for him until he gets adopted no matter how much he drives us nuts.

    It has been five months since they got his profile, and two months since they met him. They want to adopt a emotional/behavioral child. They spent two weekends here with him, and three with him at their house. They have read all the reports, seen him rage, talked with the professionals, etc.

    At this point I feel they know everything there is to know. They arent going to learn much more from repeated weekend visits.

  4. Unfortunately, it is often this difficult to get a child adopted! But I do think that shortly after this visit, they need to make a decision. It will not help them to continue down this path of visit after visit without commitment.

  5. Praying for everyone involved!! I know it must seem like black or white, but it's tough to make that decision. Its forever. Hopefully everything works out, and works out SOON! :o)

  6. The longer they drag things out, the more problems they will find. When we adopted our 2 daughters, we pushed for immediate placement. If I discovered something horrible about them after they had moved in, then I was better prepared to deal with it, knowing that I was forever mom. (both girls have MR,ED and one is blind) It sounds like they are trying to talk themselves out of the commitment. Prayers for you guys and Lil Man!

  7. It does seem a little fishy. It's good to take time to make sure it's a good fit, but that should be something the caseworker is facilitating - not just the adoptive family seeming like they may fold. I'll be praying for you all and your situation!

  8. Really? What the hell's with all the wishy washy? This isn't new curtains!