Today has been another one of "those days". I am feeling sorry for myself, and for my siblings. Just wishing we could have our parents back. I am sad because my Mum isn't here to share in my wedding joy, and that my Dad wasn't here to give Wayne permission to marry me.
I feel guilty, because my sisters have spent the last few days going through our Mum's house, trying to decide what to keep, and what can be donated. I am unable to be there to help.
I am getting nervous about my trip to Virginia. Once I am there I will no longer be able to pretend.
Monday will be Jeff's 40th birthday, while visiting my house last July my Mum told me to mark my calendar as she was planning a big bash. Right now I should be in VA Beach celebrating his birthday along with my Mum, and sisters. Instead Jeff is preparing to move, and we are morning our Mothers death.
It seems like no one understands, it isn't something you just "get over". The feelings are there everyday, there are constant reminders of what I have lost, and it sucks..