Tuesday, June 29, 2010

notice

Sad to say but we gave our 30 days notice.  All of a sudden everyone's coming out of the woodwork with suggestions for us.  We're having a placement preservation meeting tomorrow. I assume they will try talk us out of our decision.

If things improved and we had more support, I would consider keeping him.  I am not sure what to ask for as far as support.

12 comments:

  1. *Hugs* I know that must have been a heartbreaking and difficult decision. All my best to all of you.

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  2. Ask for everything/anything you might need to perserve the placement- what is the worse thing that could happen? They say "NO - we can't /fund or provide that service". We understand what a difficult decision you are facing and wish you peace with it.

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  3. Decide before going in what you must have. Then don't compromise when you get in the meeting. A lot of emotions will be involved in a meeting of this kind and you don't want to end up getting caught up in it and regretting any decision you make. I know things will work out for the best and have confidence you will make the right decision. I can't imagine how difficult this is for you and your husband.

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  4. I'm so proud of you, Karen.

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  5. you have to have a childrens psych ward there. I would ask that he go there at least for a week. They have constant staff and dr's who can monitor him and see what behaviors he is showing and change his meds and get him "stable" before he gets out. the one here takes behavior kids, out of control etc to get them stable. Tell them you need a nanny lol he keeps getting kicked out of school you all have to work so they need to provide the daycare.

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  6. I have 2 foster daughters with special needs and once I realized that I can't do EVERYthing, the agency stepped up and offered tons of services that before they said were unavailable. Go in there with "crazy eyes" and don't take no for an answer. It's in their best interest to keep him where he is because another transition would likely make his behavior worse. You have the upper hand. I don't mean to sound calloused, I love my kids and we are in the process of adopting them. The services are out there for a reason, and this time they are out there for your Lil Man.

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  7. Sometimes it's just not the right fit. If you get burnout you won't be in a position to help another child who may benefit from time with you. Best of luck...

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  8. This is so tough. You gave it valiant effort. Praying for you all.

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  9. You'll be surprised what they will offer you if disruption is on the line.
    Decide what YOU need to preserve the placement before the meeting, and once you get in there be firm. Don't let them convince you that you don't need anything that you have laid out.

    And know that sometimes everything that we can give as foster parents is just still not enough - and that has to be ok. It is soooo hard to disrupt, ever. But sometimes it is inevitable, and you cannot fault yourself. This IS NOT a failure on your part - you have done amazing things for that little boy, and he will not forget it.

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  10. I would definitely say they need to figure out a place for him to go to school where they will not be calling you everyday! At the very least, request that THEY be the contact person for school - let them get the phone calls and have to pick him up.

    I would NOT recommend a hospitalization. He is too little and he won't really get "stable" away from his home and caregivers. But if they have a "partitial hospitalization" program (where he goes all day and comes home at night) that might be helpful.

    Mostly, he needs a permanent placement - an adoptive family that isn't going to back out. One with a stay at home mom preferably!

    Hang in there and do what is best for all of you. Although I would hate to see Lil Man move from your home until he's in an adoptive placement - it won't be good for him if things with you become toxic to you both. ((((HUGS))))

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  11. I second what "social Wkr 24/7" said.

    we are all proud of you and stick to your guns!

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