Thursday, September 16, 2010

Kicked again

As you all know I have endometriosis.  As a result of my endo I only have one fallopian tube.  I've been having a really hard time since our miscarriage in July.  Feeling like a failure unable to carry a baby blah blah blah...

On top of the above today we learned that my husband has a low sp*erm count. Really low.. how on earth did I pregnant?  Guess it only takes one.

My OB will no longer treat us.  She suggested that hubby make an apt to see a urologist and that we move fwd with a reproductive specialist.

I am at a loss.  Is it not bad enough that I have fertility issues and we lost our baby. Now hubby has issues too.

IVF is out of the question right now because of the cost.  Insurance covers none of it.

I've given up all faith in the big guy upstairs.  Im tired of getting kicked over and over again.

I am not against adoption but still not ready to give up the dream of carrying a baby.


  1. I am so sorry about the bad news! My hubby has a low count as well, so I know what you're going through!!! Keep up the faith and positive thinking. It really does just take one!

  2. I'm praying good news is just around the corner. You deserve it sweetie.

  3. i have not gone through what you are going through but in my own circumstance I have felt very low and wondered where God was.

    I still am waiting to see HIM work somethings out but I have noticed that when watching other people go through VERY hard things, seeing their life seem to fall apart always seems to come right before something REALLY great happens.

    i have seen tons of adoptions fall apart and then come back together in some miraculous way.

    i have seen women who had no chance of getting pregnant be blessed by adopting and getting pregnant out of no where as well.

    right now i have not seen my happy ending yet, or the reason why we have been going through such trials BUT I do believe I will look back during the happiest time in my life and see how HIS plan worked all of it together for good.

    Don't give up. Don't ever ever ever give up.

    Someday you WILL hold a baby that is YOURS.

  4. God has not forsaken you! He may not be saying "no". He may be saying "not yet". Perhaps there is a little one already out there for you to care for first. You don't have to choose one path over the other.

    God works in mysterious ways. Please consider turning it all over to Him, for His design, instead of your plans. It is SO HARD to do that, but amazing things can happen when you let go and follow His will and plans for you.

  5. Don't give up! I too had endometriosis; had one ovary removed, part of the other ovary removed; then one fallopian tube removed, and found that the remaining tube was blocked! After repeated inpatient attempts to unblock the tube, we were told that a pregnancy was impossible. We applied to adopt, but before the adoption eventuated, I fell pregnant! And went on to have another child 2 1/2 years later. So don't give up hope! PS. I have also fostered 20 babies, as I didn't think two was enough. We still have two of them; one is nearly 21, and the other is nearly 8!