Tuesday, January 19, 2010


Is there such a thing as foster parent who cares too much?  I was talking with another foster parent about Lil' mans potential adoptive family.  I mentioned how his case worker better not try to pull a fast one like she did last time. The foster parent looked at me as if I had two heads.

Her respond "so long as he gets adopted."

Okay great but look what happened last time he was paired with an adoptive family.

I told the other FP that I had asked Lil' Mans therapist to come up with a transitional  plan for his adoption.  If its a doctors orders DFCS has to follow it.

She told me I was crossing the line. (WTF??)

Is my job as a foster parent to love this lil guy, feed and cloth him and provide him with a home all the while keeping my mouth shut?

Should I turn a blind eye and act like I don't give a shit just so I wont piss of the case worker?

Sorry aint gonna happen here.

My job is to advocate for him. He has already been dealt a crappy hand, and I want nothing but the best for that kid.

Who cares if I step on a few peoples toes, as long as I do it politely!


  1. You go girl. That's how I feel. Without our voice they have no voice so much of the time, because no one seems to care about the kids. It's all about the parents rights until TPR and then it's about getting the child out of the system so they can close the case and move onto another. I know there are exceptions to this but way too many times this is how it is.

  2. you are right, that is your job and if you don't do it nobody else will.

  3. I certainly don't think that requesting an appropriate transition plan falls under "over adovacting"!! Yes, please do it politely - and through the therapist if possible - but please advocate away! Nothing is more unethical than a rushed transition when it is possible to do a slow, well thought out one - in my opinion of course. :)

  4. I havent been able to follow your blog, but I just read all the back to your post about Teagyn... and I think you are doing an amazing job!! We have (unofrtunaly) latley, run into 2 sets of foster parents who dont give a CRAP about the kids they have!! So to hear you caring so much is awesome. I know our agency would consider you AN excellent foster parent and a person they would refer as many kids as you wanted to! Yeah, children and youth may think of you (and me) as good FP's, but pains in the butts, but the kids thinks us as angels, and thats all that matters!
    ADVOCATE, CARE, PARENT, And LOVE... sometimes its all we can ever ever do for these kids!!!

  5. You're talking to the WRONG foster parent! You are to adovocate as if that child was born in your womb. They preach and preach that, and THEN when push comes to shove to getting a kid outa care (aka, off their payroll), they will stick them anywhere, whether it will fall through or not. At least this has been MY experience in my state. ADVOCATE YOUR ASS OFF! This is why you became a foster parent! Lil' Man has NO ONE but you right now in his corner. You are a SAINT!