Tuesday, January 26, 2010

school issues

Lil' man continues to have major problems in the school setting.  We have broken the day into three parts.  Typically he was one good part, and two bad.  On the really bad days the whole day is  bad.

I just really do not what to do.  He is not displaying these behaviors at home.  Is this common? Hitting kicking, knocking stuff over, throwing cups of paint, etc, refusing to walk, screaming, running off, etc.

There is no rhyme or reason to his outbursts, they happen at different times for different reasons.   Mostly because he can't do what he wants when he wants.

The new things we established at the last IEP meeting don't seem to be helping.

I don't punish him for his school behaviors at home, but we do talk about making good choices, and following directions.

I am at a loss.


  1. This is INCREDIBLY common! Don't think its just Lil Man. I'd say a good 30-40% of children I've worked with have this same issue. Often times, I think it is the group setting. Children with impulse control, inattention, and sensory issues just can not handle the overstimulation of a classroom. On top of that, teachers do not have the ability (or sometimes the understanding) to meet this child's needs above all the other children in the classroom. And, unlike daycare, which is a lot of "free play" time - there are a lot of expectations at school. Also, sometimes once a child has established a pattern in a setting - its hard to break the cycle because everyone alerady has a preconcieved notion about how this child will behave - which becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.

    Ugh - I'm sorry that Lil Man is having such a rough time!

  2. maybe you should do a chart. If he has a good day he gets an extra 15 min of tv time or outside time. If he has a bad day he gets 15 min taken off. If he has something to be good for he may be good. Then if he gets 3 out of 5 all good he gets to pick something fun to do on the weekend. Once 3 has been accomplished move to 4 etc

  3. We tried a sticker chart, he tore it apart. Its impossiable for him to wait an entire day for a reward so we have started doing small rewards at school. For every 3 punches he gets on his card he gets to do what he wants for five min. He gets a punch by doing the right thing and following directions.

  4. Yeah, he is not at the point where you can punish or reward him at the end of the day. His consequences, good and bad need to be IMMEDIATE! I am soooo FRUSTRATED with his school. Has the Behavior Specialist stepped up? Are they already doing the visual schedule. This should be done ALL DAY LONG, not just at the beginning of the day. The social stories should also be read SEVERAL times a day, not just in the morning. This behavior is soooo COMMOMN for little boys who have his history and FAS. It's not like he is the first they have ever seen. I just don't get it. Have you read the social stories they are using? They have to be VERY specific. They should include lots of pictures. The day is broken into three parts...BUT the day needs needs to be broken into MINUTES! You can't run before you can walk. I have done this with lots of my kiddos. I was rewarding a little boy EVERY 10 MINUTES!!! Once he bought into it and he was HIGHLY rewarded, we backed it up. We are now able to break it done to sections of the day rather than minutes...BUT you have to start at the beginning. Make sure he is TRULY getting what HE WANTS - not what is convienent for the teachers. This is driving me NUTS! I know not as much as you, but OMG...This is what I do for a living, and it's NOT Rocket Science. So sorry you have to go through this. Call me if you need to talk... and I mean that. I am available. 615-243-6333. Hang in there.

  5. Katie-do you have any good links to articles I can send to his teacher about the benefits of positive re-enforcement. The behavior specialist went in today, I am waiting to hear back from.

  6. I have the same issue with both of my foster daughters. One has profound MR and one has moderate MR. They do things at school that they would NEVER think of doing at home. Hitting, biting, kicking their teachers, throwing fits, etc. Their teachers won't be consistent with their rules and discipline, so after 2 years of this, I've just decided that it's their problem. The girls are angels at home, church, out in the community. Too many tears shed over idiotic teachers. (not knocking teachers- my husband teaches special ed and I used to)But honestly, if you know that food is a trigger, and it's ARDed in that she only gets to eat what I send her and ONLY at lunch, why the heck would you give her a snack and then complain to me when she punches you? Thanks for letting me vent.