Emotional

Today we celebrated Lil' Man's  birthday  a week early! His party was held at a local jump place.  Gotta love it no mess to clean up!

His eyes were beaming when everyone was singing to him. I almost burst into tears. He ripped the presents open so fast I am not sure what is from who!

His gifts consisted of cars, cars, and more cars.  Our house has been taken over by cars, and car tracks!

At the party the adoptive parents told me that they want to move forward with the adoption.  We will begin the transition  in a few weeks.

I am an emotional mess.  Between the kid turning five, the adoption and my surgery my emotions are all over the place.

I am so glad we have found what seems like the perfect family for our Lil' Man.

Another adoptive update

Things went very well, with the adoptive family.  They stayed for tree hours yesterday before heading to their hotel for the night. Their son, and Lil' man played well together. We looked at pictures, and talked about Lil' mans birth family.

They asked good questions, , and also answered any questions I asked them.  I asked them what they knew about FAS. The adoptive Mom said at first they knew nothing, but started researching right away.

They took Lil' mans reports, test scores, etc to the doctor, as well as to a local psychologist to discuss the results with them. They seem to be fully aware of Lil' Man and his needs!

We will see them again this morning at Lil' Man's birthday party.  From there I guess we will wait until they make their decision.

I feel very positive about it!

adoptive update.

The adoptive parents just called they are about 30 minutes away.  I feel sick, I hope this works out.  Lil' man need a forever family.  Crossing my fingers they are the one.

perfection

I just spent the last 45 minutes on the phone with Lil' mans prospective adoptive family. Without going into too much detail they sound like a perfect match.  They have a six yr old son, the mother is a mental health worker, and the Dad works from home. They understand it isnt going to be all peaches and cream, that he is going to test them beyond their wildest dreams.

They are open to us being apart of Lil' Mans life for years to come! They live about 4 hours from us, and are coming to visit for the weekend for a "playdate." They are even coming to Lil' Man's birthday party on Sunday!

They are willing to take things slow, and do what is best for our Lil' man.  All of the stars seem to aline. 

I hope this is it.  He deserves this, and so much more. 

fingers crossed.

school issues

Lil' man continues to have major problems in the school setting.  We have broken the day into three parts.  Typically he was one good part, and two bad.  On the really bad days the whole day is  bad.

I just really do not what to do.  He is not displaying these behaviors at home.  Is this common? Hitting kicking, knocking stuff over, throwing cups of paint, etc, refusing to walk, screaming, running off, etc.

There is no rhyme or reason to his outbursts, they happen at different times for different reasons.   Mostly because he can't do what he wants when he wants.

The new things we established at the last IEP meeting don't seem to be helping.

I don't punish him for his school behaviors at home, but we do talk about making good choices, and following directions.

I am at a loss.

Tough day

Yesterday was rough, I was up and on the go at 6:45am, I finally sat down for the first time at 7:35pm.  My body was aching, from the stress of the day.  When 8:30 rolled around, I told the hubby I was going to bed.  He looked at me as if I was nuts we usually stay up till 11ish. 

My surgery is just over a week away, I am actually looking forward to it.  I can handle a little pain if it means two weeks off work.  I am afraid I won't know how to act!

Its funny how as woman/mommy's we make sure everyone else is taken care of, but we often forget about ourselves. 

Here's hoping today is a little less stressful, and a little less productive.  Who cares if all the house work gets done.

Karen

adoption

A possible adoptive family is coming to meet Lil' Man this Saturday. The only thing I know is that they have no children in the home..Keep your fingers crossed.

His big birthday bash is on Sunday.  Talk about over- stimulation!

You never know

Just before seven tonight my phone rang.  When I picked it up I noticed it was a Scottish phone number.  I looked at the clock and started to freak.  Who was calling me at midnight (they are five hours ahead), and what the hell is the matter?

I was hoping it was my brother calling me after a night out at the pub.  Some of the best conversations I have had with my brother have been when he is drunk.

I hesitated before answering the phone.

It wasn't my brother.

It was  my aunt, she was crying.

I knew it wasn't good news.  I said "what's wrong? Crossing my fingers that none of my relatives had passed away. 

Such a great way to live life eh?  Death is never far from my mind.

My dear (great) Aunt Cathy was admitted to the hospital late Friday, and isn't expected to make it through the weekend.

On Wednesday she was unable to speak, she went to the Doctors, and they ran some test.  It appears she has thyroid cancer.

Wednesday was only three days ago.

It just goes to show you that none of us are promised tomorrow.

Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today

Barking mad

Lil' man is sick again. Last week he was wheezing, this week he's barking like a seal.  He has croup for the fourth time in six months.  We've been laying low today, allowing him to rest. Hopefully he will be feeling better by Monday.

Now if we could all just get a full nights sleep.

two in a row!

Day two of sleeping through the night..woot woot! and this time he didnt pee himself!! I could get used to this..

What a wonderful morning!

Lil' Man slept in his bed ALLLLLLLLLLL night! I was so proud of him. As I walked closer to his bed to  give him a high five him, I could smell pee.  Ahh well atleast he stayed in his bed.  As I was walking into the laundry room with the pissy sheets, I stepped in CAT POOP. 

OMG

Who wants to deal with all of that at 7am on a rainy Thursday morning. Can I go back to bed please?

No shame

I was sitting on the couch at work, folding laundry (remember I am a nanny) when an RV pulled up outside the window, and parked.

A few minutes later an elderly man hopped out sporting his shorts and T-shirt.  He started taking pictures of the house.  No big deal, it happens often  given the fact that I work for a family  owns a big ole Southern mansion house. (I wonder how many random  pictures I am in)

What baffled me was when him and his wife broke out their beach chairs. They sat in the grass drinking their coffee (or maybe it was tea) all the while soaking up some Georgia rays.

I was too chicken to take a picture of them sitting on their chairs, they were literally right in front of me.  

People never cease to amaze me.

Advocate

Is there such a thing as foster parent who cares too much?  I was talking with another foster parent about Lil' mans potential adoptive family.  I mentioned how his case worker better not try to pull a fast one like she did last time. The foster parent looked at me as if I had two heads.

Her respond "so long as he gets adopted."

Okay great but look what happened last time he was paired with an adoptive family.

I told the other FP that I had asked Lil' Mans therapist to come up with a transitional  plan for his adoption.  If its a doctors orders DFCS has to follow it.

She told me I was crossing the line. (WTF??)

Is my job as a foster parent to love this lil guy, feed and cloth him and provide him with a home all the while keeping my mouth shut?

Should I turn a blind eye and act like I don't give a shit just so I wont piss of the case worker?

Sorry aint gonna happen here.

My job is to advocate for him. He has already been dealt a crappy hand, and I want nothing but the best for that kid.

Who cares if I step on a few peoples toes, as long as I do it politely!

Struggling

I fine myself once again struggling with the fact that we are not adopting Lil' Man.  He is such a sweet, fun loving little guy who deserves a family to love him forever.  Truth be told I love him to death, but sometimes I cannot stand him.

I know deep down I don't want to live the rest of my life with an unpredictable child.  My hat is off to those of you who parent children with mood disorders.

I cant imagine the worry that some of you face on a day to day basis.

But when things are going good, like they have been lately, the guilt sets in. He is come so far in such a short amount of time. What if he looses all of that?

What if he goes to his adoptive family and they change their mind? What if they cannot maintain him in their home?

Tonight as the hubby and I were walking out of his room, after tucking him in to bed he shouted "Mom, and Dad I love you very much."  I felt a lump form in my throat.  How can I send him away to live some where else? Will he think he wasn't good enough to be a member of our family?

I turned around and walked over to his bed, bent down and kissed his forehead, and then whispered in his ear "I love you more, sweet boy."

voters (repost)

I have been following the blog of a little girl named  Gwendolyn for over a year now.  Gwendolyn was diagnosed with SMA as an infant. Gwendolyn reminds me so much of Teagyn

Spinular muscular atrophy (SMA) is the number one genetic killer of children in the world. There is NO cure.   Her parents have been raising money to aid the doctors research with the hopes of finding a cure for their little girl, and countless others, before it is too late.

Please take a moment of your time and go vote for the Gwendolyn Strong Foundation. Your vote could help find a cure for this disease.

VOTING - simple instructions on how to VOTE!

• Go to VoteForSMA.com -- This will take you to the Gwendolyn Strong Foundation Chase campaign site on Facebook. This is where you vote. Click on the "Vote For Charity" button to vote.
• You must have a Facebook account to vote. If you don't have a Facebook account you can easily sign up for one by going to VoteForSMA.com and following the simple Facebook signup instructions.
• You may only vote for Gwendolyn Strong Foundation once, but GO NUTS! telling anyone and everyone you know to go to VoteForSMA.com to vote for the Gwendolyn Strong Foundation

Please re-post this on your blog!

Moo Cow

Lil' Man is sick...He spent the majority of Thursday night coughing in his sleep. I got him in to the doctor bright and early Friday morning.  I could hear that he was wheezing, but his inhaler was not helping.  Partly because he doesn't use correctly even with a spacer.

 

He was given a prescription for oral steroids, as well as a prescription for a Margo moo nebulizer.  Things have been a little hairy around here. A kid with mood disorder, on steroids makes for an unhappy family.

Voters

I have been following the blog of a little girl named  Gwendolyn for over a year now.  Gwendolyn was diagnosed with SMA as an infant. Gwendolyn reminds me so much of Teagyn

Spinular muscular atrophy (SMA) is the number one genetic killer of children in the world. There is NO cure.   Her parents have been raising money to aid the doctors research with the hopes of finding a cure for their little girl, and countless others, before it is too late.

Please take a moment of your time and go vote for the Gwendolyn Strong Foundation. Your vote could help find a cure for this disease.

VOTING - simple instructions on how to VOTE!

• Go to VoteForSMA.com -- This will take you to the Gwendolyn Strong Foundation Chase campaign site on Facebook. This is where you vote. Click on the "Vote For Charity" button to vote.
• You must have a Facebook account to vote. If you don't have a Facebook account you can easily sign up for one by going to VoteForSMA.com and following the simple Facebook signup instructions.
• You may only vote for Gwendolyn Strong Foundation once, but GO NUTS! telling anyone and everyone you know to go to VoteForSMA.com to vote for the Gwendolyn Strong Foundation

Please re-post this on your blog!

Yawn

What a day.

6:55-up, lil' man fed, dressed, me dressed and then out the door.

Dropped the kid at school just before 8 and then I headed to work

I did laundry, and played with the baby until 10am

Willie B and I headed to the library for story time from 10:30-11:30

At 11:30 we left the library and headed to Parkers school.

11:50 we were back on the road, we hit up the drive thru, and then headed to Lil' man's school.

12:05-picked up Lil' man and headed to play therapy.

1:1-dropped the boys off with their parents and headed home.

1:30-quarterly inspection-Got busted for not having my med logs up to date oops.

2:20 they were done, and I headed back to work (hubby took Lil' Man to daycare)

3:30- took Willie B to the drs

Finally left the doctors office at 4:45pm

Drove to the store to drop off his RX.  Hung around until it was ready, only to find out the wrote the wrong medication on the RX. Good job I checked.

Called the on-call ped, drove back to work dropped the boys off, and headed to the daycare to get Lil' man.

Got home at 5:45pm, and the case worker visited at 6pm.

What a looooong day.

Confession

For Christmas I bought Lil' Mans DFCS case worker a box of truffles as a thank you gift. 

Unfortunately she had to cancel her visit just before Christmas. I confess, I ate her truffles.

I purchased a second box of chocolates  last week, as I knew we had a visit scheduled for Tuesday (yesterday). 

This time she didnt cancel, she just didnt show up. I emailed her, and called to make sure she was okay.  By 3pm I hadn't heard a word. so I cracked open the second box of chocolates.

she called at 5:30 and apologized, she had forgotten about us.

oops

She's coming to visit tomorrow.  I hope I can pick up a third box before her 5pm visit.

Sheer greed

I.E.P update

The IEP meeting went well.  While we did not get a full-time one on one support  they agreed to increase the amount of time the one on one spends with Lil' Man. 

The behavior specialist is going to observe Lil' Man in the classroom for several days to see if she can figure out what his "triggers" are.  She will then come up with a plan to suit his needs.  She is also going to offer some one on one training to the teacher, and her assistant regarding FAS.  The assistant needs to be train in how to desclate the situation, and  to  not feed into his negative behaviors.  Her and Lil' man have power struggles often, which makes Lil' Man go off the deep end.  She said she would have the teacher read the book  parenting with love and logic which is the  same parenting style that we use.

Instead of removing the kid from the classroom, they are going to offer him a bean bag chair in which he can go sit until he gets control (the same thing we do at home except we use a chair).  There is no time limit, and he can get up when he says he has gotten control. 

We are going to go over kill on praising proper behavior.  For every three punches he gets on his card, he can have five minutes to do something that he chooses.  As the negative behaviors decrease, we will increase the amount of punches he needs on his card to have his free time.

They are going to make a power point that is full of pictures of Lil' Man doing the right thing, he is going to watch the power point each morning when he get to school.

They are also going to make a visual daily schedule for Lil' man, that they are to go over with him each morning.  If for some reason they cannot go outside, they have to come up with an alternative physical activity for him.

The teacher tried to down play everything, until I whipped  out my trusty notebook, which had all of the dates, and times that he has been removed from the room, or that I have been called to come and pick him up.

We shall see..

P.s a big shout out to Katie for all of her suggestions!

on a lighter note

I found out a few days ago that our plumber (who has been in our house recently), shot and killed his wife..  What on Earth posses someone to commit such a horrid act?  How do you kill someone you love?

Totally freaking out.

IEP

I take back what I said before its been re-scheduled for tomorrow.  I am freaking out.

failed

I feel like such a failure  at this foster mommy business.  Nothing got resolved yesterday regarding Lil' Man and the school.  Yesterday was by far the worst day he has had.

I cried when his teacher emailed me, a list of what "went down" today.  I told hubby that I am done, he needs to go some place else.  A place where the parents are more familiar with FAS, who know about the school system, and how to go what services he needs.

Granted we don't have nearly as many problems with him at home than they do at school.  But the constant phone calls are wearing me down.  I can't keep calling my boss and asking her if she can come home because I have to go to the school yet again.

Hubby just started back to school 3 full-days a week.  His school is 45 miles from home, leaving more of the work load on me.

I am overly stress, and way under paid! HA HA

Don't worry the kid isnt going anywhere until he gets adopted.  I was just venting!

Our next IEP meeting will be scheduled for sometime next week.

and so it continues

Friday proved to be no different than Thursday. At 10:30 I got a phone call from the school asking me to come and pick Lil' Man up.

I am at a loss at to what to do.

He is in a regular ed class. 

Which has 18 kids and two teachers

He gets 1 hour of one on one

He gets speech, occupational, and physical therapy.

We have a behavior plan, which isnt working.

Some days are great, some days are so so, but when they get bad he cant seem to shake it.

I spoke with the special ed teacher again on Friday, she doesn't think her class is the place for him.

There is a separate school for children with emotional/behavioral problems.  But in all honesty I don't think thats the place for him.

Can you imagine the type of shit he would pick up there? He totally copies everything, and everyone.

He started sucking his thumb because a kid in his class does. 

I think whoever adopts him should be very open to home schooling.  Whenever we have him at home for breaks.  life if good.

He needs constant one on one attention.

I am going to meet with the IEP team again tomorrow.

Chasing butterflies

Hope appropriate is it that I spent the majority of the night dreaming about my sweet angel Teagyn.

Today marks five years since our sweet girl became an angel.  I have visions of her laughing and running will chasing butterflies. 

Shine bright my little angel until we meet again.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Love,

Auntie

ring ring

Today I got a phone call from the school that the kiddo was out of control.  They were asking me to come and pick him up.  I swear to God it would be easier to home school him.  At least I have him under semi-control. 

I really don't know what to do.  I don't think he needs to be in the special ed class, but obviously the regular ed class is not for him.  The special ed teacher even said he would not benefit from being in her class.

I have begged, and pleaded for a full-time one on one.  They wont give him a full-time one, his needs are not great enough. 

Me picking him up isnt helping things.  But wait am I supposed to do? I don't want to leave him at school, if the teacher don't even want him there.

I am so frustrated. I swear I am gonna lose my job if I have to take anymore time off.

Two in a row!

Another amazing day at school for the little guy!  What a proud (foster) Mommy I am! Let's hope he's able to keep it up!

Woot...Woot

Just got an email from Lil' Man's teacher.. He's having a great day! I told you all he matured over night..

a trend

Tomorrow school starts back after a 17 day break.  Over break Lil' mans negative behaviors have decreased. 

The last four days have been WONDERFUL!

He seems to have matured slightly.

These are all great things right?  Except I am worried that his behaviors are on the up and up, because he has not been in school.

Tonight I told him that "tomorrow is a school day, and they he would be going back to XXX elementary".  He said "no mom I can't I will show out."(his word for misbehaving)  "I want to go to daycare not school."

Keep your fingers crossed.

are you kidding me?

I am so over this foster care bull shit. DFACS ran a background check on my MIL so that she could care for Lil' Man when I went to my Dr's apt in Atlanta. 

My agency said that my MIL could care for Lil' Man while I am having my surgery (we will be gone for five days).  They informed me that I needed to get a copy of the background check from DFACS.  Well our DFACS worker refuses to give us a copy of the background check.  She said that the state paid for it, and if our agency wants one, then can pay for their own WTF?

We don't have enough time to wait for a stupid background check to come back.  So it looks like Lil' Man is going to have to go to respite for five days, to a family he doesn't know, and miss five days of school.

AHHHHHHHHH

Why do they make things so complicated? And they wonder why these kids have so many issues.

Allowing him to stay at home with someone he knows and trusts, and to attend school seems like the logical thing to do, but not in the foster care world.

Lets ship him off to a foster home that is two hours from home, where we don't know the people, and the family doesn't know him. As far as the state goes they could care less if he misses five days of school.

There answer Mrs. Sanford rest assured all of our foster parents have had background checks, and are trained just as you and your husband were.

WHATEVER!

FAB!

We had a super fab weekend! On Friday we left about 9ish, and headed to St. Augustine, FL which is about 3 1/2 hours from T-ville. 

First stop was the outlet mall, and I actually bought something for myself surprise surprise.  Lil' man got a cute sweater, and 4 summer outfits.  The hubby got more clothes than the kid and I combined. 

typical

We then checked into our hotel, and went sight seeing.  Lil' Man got a new necklace , since he broke his last one in a fit of rage.  He swears up and down he will not break  this one. We shall see.

(notice how tight my jeans are..Too much chocolate)

We stopped for an ice cream, and walked around down town.  After walking for hours a little while, we headed up town for some more shopping and then dinner.

After dinner we went back down town to enjoy the Christmas lights.

 

We headed back to our hotel, and got Lil' man ready for bed.  I was overly impressed with how well he behaved.  He seems to have matured slightly.  I just hope it doesn't fade when he goes back to school.

 

Happy new year everyone! Hope your not too hung over! The hubby, the kid and I are on our way to St. Augustine Fl for the day, and then we are heading a little further south to Space coast area until Sunday!
Then the fun is over, its back to work and school some Monday!