Our lil man seems to have raging fit every day around the same time (5ish). I cannot figure out what is causing them to happen. He takes 10 mg of Adrenal twice a day (8am and 1pm is when I have been giving it to him).
Today he had a massive fit because he did not like what I made for dinner. His tantrum lasted almost an hour. He was told he did not have to eat any but he had to sit at the table for 2 min's. This caused him to start tantruming which included him tearing apart his bedroom, hitting and kicking and shouting all the usual nasties..
When he is in his rage you cannot speak to him, it just makes things worse. You cannot hold him because he just hits and kicks. I sat in his bedroom door way, and would not let him out until he got himself under control. Half the contents of his room where thrown at me.
After 45 min he finally laid on the bed. I slowly moved closer until I was at the edge of the bed. Once at the edge of the bed I started rubbing his back, and asked him if I could give him a hug.
I try to talk to him about what he was so upset but he doesn't seem to "get it", he just kept saying "I was mad at you".
After that he was fine. He sat down at the table ,and ate dinner as if nothing had ever happened. He cleaned up all of the mess he made without being told. I am at a loss as to how to better handle him.
The rest of the day goes off without a hitch he gets dressed no problem, cleans up, plays very well with his toys, and is easily redirected.
T was on a 5pm rage every day for almost the first year. We would change everything up but what it came down to was she afraid of the consistent togetherness at dinnertime. She would stress over it and couldn't calm for hours. He may just need to do his own thing at dinnertime, like PB&J and cottage cheese and fruit or something to pick at while you do something else and eat on your own. Togetherness scares the scrap out of our kids. Try music, something fun that he likes, or something calming starting around 4:30 pm. Also, you could try incorporating a consistent smell, like lighting a cinnamon candle every day at that time. It is about retraining his brain at the most basic level so he isn't so scared and angry anymore.
ReplyDeleteYep, T is right, you are doing the wonderful job of filling holes. Think of his brain as the grand canynon, deep and wide ruts everywhere, when something triggers him he runs along the canyon only knowing one way to get to where he is going ( rage/anger/names) he is running from the trigger, it's like a tidal wave of water behind him, he runs until he is exhausted and has to stop - crashes and is fine after. Your job is teach him all the different canyon paths that he can run along when he is triggered, you are literally going to help reprogram his brain and find new paths for him to go along. It is a long road and at times hard but you can do it, it will get easier.
ReplyDeletehave you read Beyond COnsequences yet, I can't recomend it enough. Hang in there