I don't think I am as tough as I thought I was. I am not one to run around with my emotions on my sleeve, but I had to hold back the tears on the drive home with lil man.
We are IMPACT certified, and have over 30 hours of additional training, but not one class prepared me for tonight.
Lil man was excited to meet us, and drew us some pictures, and showed us the toys he was playing with. He kept Wayne busy while I was filling out paper work.
When it was time to leave he did not want to come with us, he wanted to stay with his social worker. Once in the car, he calmed down.
We went for something to eat before getting on the highway as it is over an hours drive from our agency to our house. About 20 minutes into the drive he started asking for his "mama" (his old foster Mother). The asking turned into crying, and the crying turned into a fit.
He asked us to turn the car around, and take him to his Mama. At one point he told us how to get to his "mama's" house.
We told him that we were sorry that he missed his mama, and that we were going to take care of him now.
We pulled over, and I sat in the back holding his hand, while singing him some songs.
Once he got to the house, things clamed down. We introduced him to the cats, and showed him around. He liked his bedroom, and quickly dumped out all the toy!
He played for about 30 minutes, and then went for a quick bath before bed. We read books, and snuggled for a little bit.
Shortly before bed said "Will you be my mama?", I said "I will love you and take care of you". He seemed okay with that.
We kissed him good night, and told him we will seem him in the morning, and off to sleep he went.
I am enjoying the honeymoon phase, and hope he remains as sweet as he seems.
Once, having put your hand to the plow, you keep moving forward, and never look back....my prayers are with you and your husband as you parent this little boy. You were given the drive and determination to take in this little boy because you have something he needs that you are able to fulfil for him. It is the hardest, most grueling, painful, exhausting, overwhelming endeavor, I believe, on this earth!
ReplyDeleteKeep looking forward, keep looking up, and take joy in all the simple progressions, and miniscule improvements. Don't see regressions as failure; they are merely the results of positive growth.
My best advice? Nap when you can, and keep a personal stash of chocolate hidden away....
Been there, a reader from Tubaville.
You are a saint! Good luck to you! We are all here to support you in your new adventure!
ReplyDeleteHow is everything going today? Things are a whirlwind aren't they? :)
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