Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Thank you

On Sunday I got a sweet email from Lil' Man's adoptive Mom, thanking me for taking such good care of her son.  While it felt good to receive such a compliment, I really don't think I deserve it.  After all I am "giving him up."

If anyone deserves a compliment its her. She is committing herself to him FOREVER.  Something I am not willing/able to do.

My hat is off to all those  parents who adopt children with severe emotional/behavior issues. Sometimes the only thing that has kept me sane during Lil' Man's rage's is the fact that I know this isn't going to last forever. This is not how I am going to spend the rest of my days.  As harsh as it may sound its the truth. 

The unpredictability of his behaviors takes its toll.   I am emotionally spent. I am surprised I don't have high blood pressure (ha ha).

He has been defiant from the moment he opened his eyes today.

Please don't think that I don't love the kid, because I really do.  I just dont see how I can parenting him forever while staying sane. 

He needs/deserves so much more than we can give him. 

I wish there was some magic pill that could make his little brain better.


  1. No magic pills, and it is stressful. Over time I developed patience and perspective. A forever commitment to these kids is not for everyone.

  2. Oh man, how I wish I had some magic pills for Nate. I can understand what you are saying. I have committed to Nate but there are days that I wonder what I could be thinking. I know we are doing the right thing but I can say, forever is not for everyone.

    I really respect foster parents that know their limits and do all they can for their foster kids and really love them enough to be able to let them go when they know it's not a good match for their family. You have done a wonderful job with your lil man and you deserve a HUGE Thank You!!!

  3. Despite you "giving him up", you have played an enormously huge part in his little life. So many kids with his needs have to bounce around from home to home with no maintained connections. Lil Man got to spend a good amount of time with someone who loved him and gave him their all - all the while knowing that they were going to have to let him go. But the fact that he felt secure with you, and will get to maintain a connection to you, will mean the world to him when he is older. Truly. You have no idea.

  4. one of our boys FP said very similar things to me when we adopted them. I don't know how I stay sane every some days, but you just learn to roll with the punches, you change to and so do your expectations.