On Sunday I got a sweet email from Lil' Man's adoptive Mom, thanking me for taking such good care of her son. While it felt good to receive such a compliment, I really don't think I deserve it. After all I am "giving him up."
If anyone deserves a compliment its her. She is committing herself to him FOREVER. Something I am not willing/able to do.
My hat is off to all those parents who adopt children with severe emotional/behavior issues. Sometimes the only thing that has kept me sane during Lil' Man's rage's is the fact that I know this isn't going to last forever. This is not how I am going to spend the rest of my days. As harsh as it may sound its the truth.
The unpredictability of his behaviors takes its toll. I am emotionally spent. I am surprised I don't have high blood pressure (ha ha).
He has been defiant from the moment he opened his eyes today.
Please don't think that I don't love the kid, because I really do. I just dont see how I can parenting him forever while staying sane.
He needs/deserves so much more than we can give him.
I wish there was some magic pill that could make his little brain better.