Lil’ Man got very little sleep over the weekend. Tonight I knew he needed to go to bed a little early in order to catch up. We did our usual routine, thirty minutes early.
Our nightly routine involves me rocking him, and singing to him. He buries his head into my chest, closes his eyes, and puts the biggest cheesy grin on his face, while pretending to sleep.
Tonight as I was finished singing I looked down, only to find Lil’Man fast asleep. I sat there holding onto him feeling terribly guilty.
I know that by us not adopting him we are causing him future pain, and heart ach. Are we doing the right thing? Is there really a family out there who wants a “broken” little boy?
I didn’t think fostering would be this emotional.
Maybe we’re not cut out for this business, because I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve.
Lil’ Man seems no worse or the ware. He has not mentioned the adoptive family, or anything about this passed weekend. Although he did say “mommy I peed on B and D’s floor, but I wont pee pee on yours” lmao
Once I speak more with the case workers, I plan to tell him that they will not be his adoptive family. I plan to tell him that they already have too many child, and they cant give him all the love and attention he needs/deserves.
All is well for now. He can stay here as long as he needs. Selfishly I hope he is here for the Holidays, as want to spoil him rotten!
While I am obviously sad that Lil Man will not have his "forever family" yet - I'm glad they realized it sooner rather than later. And, one benefit is that now that you know exactly how he will react, hopefully you can better prepare the next family that comes along.
ReplyDeleteI know your pain. I too, have felt that with foster children. Hang in there. Lil'man is so so so so so blessed to have you in his life whether it be temporary or not. You have shown him true love. And YES, there are plenty of good homes out there that will love a broken little boy so much that he will heal. Hang in there.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the support ladies :)
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