I am sitting on the floor of my four year olds room, exhausted. I sitting here making sure he stays in bed. He has been throwing a fit for almost two hours . I am tired, and he is beyond tired.
We have been doing so good, no fit since Sunday. We have been consistent with our routine, and discipline. There is no rhyme or reason that I can see for the fits. I say its white, he says its black, and then goes into a rage.
We show him love, consistency, support, and understanding, and we get hatred in return. It is hard to care about or love someone who tells you they hate you, who takes the fun out of family time, and always finds away to ruin a good time.
Things were going so good. Last night we had dinner in the back yard. Lil man splashed in the water, and was covered in dirt from head to toe. Tonight after dinner I had plans to take him to the park, but those plans were shot to hell as soon as we pulled into the driveway and he refused to get out of the car. It has all went down hill from there.
His dinner sits half eaten on the table. His school papers and torn into peace's and scattered around the livingroom. He lays in bed with only a pull up on because he refused to put on his pajamas.
While I not it's not his fault, its hard not to get angry on the inside. If I could just flip a damn switch and make him all better. Life would be so much easier for us, and for him.
I want to take him to the park, and the zoo. I want to do normal kid things with him, but I can't because I cannot reward the negative behavior. I want to take him on a playdate with my "mommy friends", but I can't because he will hit, and tell people to shut up, and not to look at him. He will steal toys, and running away from me.
In our foster care classes we are taught to support the birth family. The case plan is always reunification at first. Our lil man does not get visits with his birth family, and I am thankful for that.
I am angry that his Mother is living footloose, and fancy free. While myself, and my husband are cleaning up her "dirty work" She should be sitting in jail for causing permanent brain damage to her child.
For now the fight is over, my lil man is fast asleep. Looking ever so sweet, and innocent.