Lil' Man had a great weekend!!! The adoptive parents said they did not have to put him in time out once.
GREAT!
After being stuck in the car for four hours, he was bouncing off the wall so I had him help me with some yard work. Then we went for a walk around the block. He is sound asleep and I hope he stays that way until the morning!
I will assume that Lil' Mans adoption is still a go, despite the fact that the adoptive family is not willing to commit to a placement date. Today adoptive Mom called and asked what level of swimmer Lil' Man was because its time to sign up for summer swim lessons.
Lil' Man protested his visit. He screamed blood murder when I buckled him into the case workers car. Despite his screams I am sure he will have a grand time!
I spoke with Lil' Mans case worker about 4pm today. She told me that Lil' Man would be having another visit with the adoptive family this weekend. The adoptive family is going out of town over spring break, so placement has been set for April 10th.
Tonight Lil' Man wanted to call the adoptive family. Once he was done talking adoptive Mom, and I had a chat.
We went over what I had been told by my case worker. Adoptive Mom said she was unsure of the April 10th placement date.
I feel like I am living in a soap opera.
I just wanted to say WTF are you unsure of? Are you adopting him or not. Quit bullshitting and give me an answer. This is someone's life you are messing with. But I will leave that up to the case worker.
Lil' Man has never been told of a placement date, I don't even think he understands the whole "forever" thing.
She ended the conversation by saying we will see how this weekend goes, and touch base afterwards.
Is there usually this much drama involved in a child getting adopted? To me it seems black and white. Its either a yes we want to adopt, or no. What is there to think about after all of this time?
Lil' man's latest obsession is wearing as little clothing as possible. I have given up control of most things, but I wont let my kid wear shorts, and T-shirt when its 40 outside. He wouldn't learn anything from freezing his rear off, because he doesn't think like that.
We have been trusting him out of eye sight a lot more lately, and he has been doing well. Yesterday he snuck into the kitchen and ate 6-8 cookies after being given one, and told me couldn't have anymore.
I couldn't help but laugh when he asked for a drink too wash down all the cookies he just ate.
We've been working on using the computer, he has poor hand eye coordination which makes it hard for him to use the mouse. But he enjoys playing educational games.
All is well in the Sanford home! Lil' Man's behavior has been perfect! He has gotten into trouble in school ONCE in the last two weeks. WONDERFUL!
Negative and defiant behaviors are almost non-existent at home. He has been saying a few naught words, but I will take that over being spit on.
Today was muffins for Mom at school, and wouldn't you know I FORGOT. I felt the lowest of the low when I remembered.
I have had so much on my mind lately with the whole adoption, I completely forgot. By the time I remembered it was already over.
However I made up for it, by having lunch with Lil' Man at school (note to self: start packing Lil' Man's lunch) I took in cookies for him, and his classmates. He was beaming from ear to ear as he walked around asking each of his friends if they would like a cookie.
Hopefully all is forgotten about muffins for mom.YIKES
I haven't posted an update regarding Lil' Man's adoption. We're hanging in limbo waiting to hear from the adoptive parents, and their case worker.
I hope for Lil' Man's sake that they are not backing down. Two failed adoptions in five months is a little much for anyone to bear.
As of now he isnt going to their house this weekend.
We shall see
Today has been rough, and its only 1:30pm. Yesterday I met the adoptive parents half way to pick up Lil' Man. As soon as I seen him I knew they had fed him something he is allergic too. His face, and neck were covered in hives, which then turns into eczema.
I gave him bendryl, and it started to clear up. It was much better, but still noticeable this morning. I told the hubby to let the daycare know (schools closed). As I was on my way to my doctors appointment I got a call from the daycare telling me that Lil' Man needed picked up because of his rash.
WTF..GRRRR I explained the situation, but they didnt want to hear it they told me if I got a doctors note that I could bring him back. WHATEVER
I've had a store throat for a few days.
I've got red and white spots on the back of my throat. As if I don't have enough pimples. I was sure I had strep. Nope its some random virus that is supposed to get worse before it gets better, but should be gone in 9-10 days.
Great I can barley swallow now.
I am still waiting on the pediatricians office to call me back regarding Lil' Mans "rash"
Thank God my boss is flexible.
Someone has been since continually in our family since January. I am so over this shit.
I just got off the phone with the adoptive Mom. This visit is going well. Lil' Man is sleeping much better and has spent less time in time out.
He slapped the adoptive Mom in the face, and immediately started crying because he knew he had done something wrong.
The adoptive parents had a meeting with their case worker on Thursday. Their worker suggests that they not sign any papers until after Lil' Mans doctors apt at the FAS clinic.
The adoptive Mom agreed. She then said "the only thing that would stop us from adopting is if they tell us he is going to be a serial killer when he's older."
Lil' mans apt is over five weeks away. Is it normal for a transition to last 13 plus weeks? My gut is telling me no.
Does a long transition have negative effects?
If we keep him until mid April, he might as well stay until the end of the school year. The school year ends mid May.
Is it fair for Lil' man to miss school every Friday for the next five weeks? Will his case worker drive 4 hours there and back every Friday? Should we do visits every other weekend?
Any suggestions?
Keep in mind Lil' man is our first placement so that whole transition thing is new to us.
Lil' Man has had a fabulous week. He slept all night, used his manners, made the right choices at both home and school. We have not had to put him in time out, or take away any toys. He was given positive praise every few minutes, and treats every few hours.
Until yesterday.
He lost it at school, and refused to enter the classroom. He picked up a chair, and threatened to throw it at the students.
He was removed from the room. He started beating his head against the wall, and punching himself. After 30+ minutes he finally said he was ready to go back to class.
What gives? What happened? Why did things go south so fast? Why can he be over the top good for four straight days?
We followed the same routine, the same teachers were at school. Everything was the same, except that one thing. I wish we could figure him out.
I started out blogging as a way to keep in touch with my family that lives in Scotland. I was born and raised in Scotland, but moved to the states in the 90's with my Mum, two older sisters, and my step Dad. My Mum is the one who kept everyone in Scotland up to date with the happenings in the US.
I don't think any of my Scottish relatives read my blog so it has become my foster care blog.
Since my Mum's passing its just me and my two big sisters that live in the states (they live 12 hrs from me) Its hard at times not having any extended family. Even harder when you don't really see your inlaws. Its just me and the hubby most of the time.
I think back to our family get together's, Christmas dinners, and new years plays. Or the scavenger hunts at Easter time, and it makes me sad.
How is it that they have forgotten about us? Why do phone calls not get returned or emails answered? Are they just too busy with the own lives to care about ours?
When I was in Scotland this passed Oct, some of them where too busy to meet with me for any length of time.
Ahh well they are the ones that are missing out. They are missing out on relationships with myself and my sisters. But also my nieces, and nephews.
I love my sisters dearly (and my big bro too). I am so thankful for our relationship, and I don't know what I would do without them.
(Just venting)
Its been just over a month since my surgery. My incision's have healed well, but my hormones are all over the place. My husband thinks I am a nut because I can't stop crying. My face looks like a pepperoni pizza. But hey the endometriosis is gone!
Hopefully my hormones will sort themselves out within the next few weeks.
Lil' Man has been a total joy since he came home Sunday. He has been sleeping from 7:30pm-7am, waking up in a good mood. Getting dressed without a problem, listing a following directions in school. Eating his meals, using his manners and being a little love bug. I am not sure what happened over the weekend, but I hope it sticks.
He is like a totally different kid.
I picked Lil' Man up this afternoon. He was excited to see me! He was asleep within 5 minutes of being in the car. He has a few "pick" marks where he has been picking out of fear and anxiety.
He is very confused (rightfully so) over the whole transition thing. After he woke from his nap, he said he was sad because he missed S (adoptive mom). In the next sentence he told me he didnt want to go back to their house, because he spent too much time in time out.
About 20 minutes later he asked me if I could take him back to S house, because he wanted to play. I reminded him that he would be going back on Friday for the weekend. He said "I don't want to go there I want to live with you and Wayne."
He then asked where we were going for summer vacation. I reminded him "when its summer time you will be living with S and P, your adoptive family."
Things are still going according to plan. He will spend next weekend with them. After the second visit we will have a meeting to decided weather the third weekend will be a visit or the day he is placed.
One thing is for sure I am going to miss that lil' guy.
I just got off the phone with Lil' Mans adoptive Mom. She is exhausted. Lil' Man got up just after 1am, and did not go back to sleep. When my boy doesn't even enough sleep his behaviors are 1,000 times more severe!
He's testing the waters to see what he can get away with.
He had several "accidents", which is unusual for him, but it's something he has control over.
She was able to get him to nap. After nap they ventured to the park. Lil' Man went to the sandbox, and tired to eat another kids ice cream out of their hand. When the adoptive Mom, tired to talk to him he lost it.
She said he told her that he misses us, but they have a lot more toys (their house is about 3X the size of ours) so he wants to stay!
I hope and pray they dont change their mind.
Lil' Man has been gone for twenty four hours. To wake up on my own was a rather strange feeling. Not having to walk on egg shells in the morning tell felt great, but I miss the little bugger.
I know he is having a great time. I wonder how he slept last night. I wonder what he doing right now.
When I was packing his suitcase I asked him what toys he wanted to take he said "none." He said "keep them safe for me because i'm coming back here".
He doesn't have much concept of time, so he's a little confused about the weekend visits, and the forever family thing.
The adoptive Mom said she would call me tonight, once he was in bed. I can't wait for an update.
Last night I lay in bed. My heart was pounding, I couldn't sleep. I haven't slept well in weeks. Lil' Man hasn't sleep through the night in weeks.
Him waking up 1,000 time a night, has started to cause me anxiety. I lay in bed waiting for him to wake up, because I know its going to happen.
He usually wakes up, and comes barging into my room with some type of complaint. He wants a tattoo, he needs to be covered up. He wants a new night light, he needs the bathroom (but refuses to go unless I get up). and so on and so.
This happens two or three time a night. Typically around 2am-5am.
It isnt the lack of sleep , thats causes the anxiety. It's knowing what I am going to have to deal with in the morning when the kid is too tired to get up.
If my boy doesn't get a good 12 hours of sleep. FORGET about it. His day is ruined until he naps.
So this weekend while Lil' Man is bonding with his adoptive family. I will be looking forward to a full nights sleep. I might even sleep in till 8am
GASP
Lil' Man is leaving on Thursday for his first weekend visit with his adoptive family. He will go the following weekend as well. After the second visit there will be a meeting to decided if the third weekend will be a visit, or placement.
I am excited for him!
