Wednesday, October 15, 2008

pity party number 117


Its 11:26pm, and I am laying in bed.  I should be sleeping as I have a busy day ahead of me tomorrow.  I was talking to my sister Lesley,  about Teagyn's birthday

When they went to buy balloons to send to Heaven  the cashier asked my niece Jannae who the balloons were for.  Jannae said "they are for my cousin, she's 8 today"

The lady said "oh so your going to take her balloons" Jannae didn't know what to say, so she looked at my sister for help.  Lesley said "yes we are"

This pisses me off, why on Earth do we have to send Teagyn balloons in Heaven?  Why has Jannae endured so much, Teagyn was her best friend.

Why did my sister have to loose her daughter, my first born niece.  Why did my father have to pass away so suddenly.  Why did my mother have to struggle for breath? 

What did my family do or not do to deserve so much heartache? 

I want to led a normal life with a Mother, and  Father.  I don't want to stress about making sure Teagyn is included in our upcoming family pictures somehow. She should be here in person complaining about wearing a dress

Doesn't God know that one family can only handle so much?  Doesn't he know that we don't have any family around (they are all in Scotland) for support. 

Sometimes I doubt all things God, I am angry, and rightfully so.

No comments:

Post a Comment