Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Lil' Man update

Lil Man's case worker just stopped by to get the rest of his belongings.   Last night I went around the house gathering the rest of his stuff.   This makes it all so finial. He's definitely not coming back.

I worry about him. 

His birth Mom failed him, his case worker has failed him, countless foster parents have failed him, and now you can add our name to the list.  Our "mission" was to get him ready to move onto his forever family.  We came very close...twice

But coming close isnt good enough. Look where it has ended. 

I worry about the type of home he's in now.  His case worker told me to hold onto his life book, and all of the things in his "keep box" (birthday cards, special things he's made, misc pictures, etc) because she's worried the current foster Mom would throw it away, or let him destroy it.

She said whenever she goes to see Lil' Man he asks "Are you here to take me to K and W's house?"  Several people have asked if its possible for us to go and visit him.  The answer to that is no, because of his special needs.  His brain doesn't function like a normal child's he's  traumatized.  Us visiting and then leaving could set him back for months or  even years.

At the end of the month he is getting a new case worker, one that has a small case load, and works with kids who have lingered in the system too long.  Her goal is to get him stabilized, and to hopefully get him adopted. I doubt she will be as forthcoming with us with information about Lil' Man so this may be the last update we get on him.

I hope he gets adopted into a wonderful family. Who knows maybe one day down the road we can behind to build our relationship all over again.


  1. You didn't fail him. We don't fail when we aren't the forever home. We do the best that we can do and take them as far as we can. His forever parents are out there, he just hasn't met them yet. I just wanted to remind you of that. It's not a failure on anyone's part when it's not the right fit. It's just not.

  2. so sad. and yes, keep his stuff for him. he will need that one day