Just last year.

Below are a few of my posts from this day last year. In some bazaar way it helps me to read over my old entries.

Posted Nov 29, 2007 8:37am

When Mark, and I left the hospital last night Mum's temp was down because of the cooling blanket. Her heart rate was around 116. She looked very comfortable.

Her stats were still a little low despite being on 75% oxygen. She was stating around 93-94% (normal being 98-100) She is still very heavily sedated, which makes her "look worse".

Mum is very sick, the Dr's no not think she is going to make it. They are still asking us to "turn her off". But we are not at that point yet. We are waiting for the infection to clear. She was doing so much better before she caught the infection. If the infection does not clear, or if Mum gets worse, we are going to have to make some hard decisions.

Here is what we are looking at if all goes in our favor: 1-2 more weeks for the infection to clear, then trach/peg tube surgery, 10 day recovery from that,then start new chemo combo.

Its hard to be sure we are making the right choices, its hard not to be selfish.

Please pray that while we are waiting for things to get better, that Mum's cancer does not grow. Please pray that Mum is not in any pain, and that we are making the right decisions.

Thanks,

Karen

Posted Nov 29, 2007 10:25am

I just got to the hospital about an hour ago, Mum's stats are in the low 80's. Her heart rate is high in the 140's. IT SUCKS... Her blood pressure is low, and her oxygen has been turned up to 85%. Her temp is still there, despite medication, ice packs, and the cooling blanket.

I am sitting here having my own pity party..

I am so angry, it just isnt fair. Why us? Why our Mum? Our Mum has done nothing wrong in life. She took great care of us, and gave up "stuff" just to make sure we had the best Haven’t we gone through enough? As selfish as it sounds.. When I get married, I wont have any parents at my wedding. My babies wont get to know my Mum or Dad. My Mum wont get to hold my children. IT ISNT FAIR.

I feel like we've been robbed. It makes you wonder who's next.

Posted Nov 29, 2007 4:41pm

Today is Nicola's 30th birthday.. It's sucks that I have to write this message on her birthday.

Mum's fever has gone away, and her stats have calmed down, but I fear they have calmed down, because Mum's body is shutting down. The Dr said he thinks our Mum is going to die within 1-3 days while on the vent.

If we take her off the vent she will die within a few min to a few hours. Everyone is on their way to the hospital, and we will see what happens from there.

My Mum is still sedated, she keeps moving her arms, and likes it when someone is holding her hand. I just washed her face, and put on her face cream. Then lotioned her hands.

Karen