Follow up

Today we met with my gyno to discuss our appointment  with the  reproductive endocrinologist.  We're still in limbo waiting to see if the Hubby's surgery was successful.

Next week I am having some blood work to check my ovarian reserve.  I am also having an ultra sound to check my ovaries for cysts.

If my US and blood work come back normal, we will try on our own until we get The Hubby's results (Feb)  If The Hubby's results are normal we till try a few rounds of IUI before moving into IVF.

If either of our results come back abnormal, I will start birth control, and shut everything down until we are ready to move into IVF.

I never imagined I would be dealing with this....Infertility doesn't happen to people like me.  I come from a stalk of breeders, none of which had any problem conceiving.  I   dreamed of my whole life of becoming a Mother. 

I know that all hope isn't lost. Some way some how I will become a Mother.  It might not be how I imagined but it will happen.  I will be a Mother.

This one takes the cake!!

For Christmas my Dear (ha ha)  Mother in Law bought me a book called Make Me Your Choice.

After first I didnt know what the book was about I just seen the pregnant belly on the cover and shoved it back into the gift bag. I'm an emotional wreck and pregnant belly's make me cry.

When my Mother In Law went into the other room, I took a peak to see what it was about.  I assumed it was a book about miscarriage or infertility. Boy was I wrong

It's a pr0-life Christian book about peoples struggles after an @BORTION.

I mouth to hubby who was sitting across the room " its about abortion, WTF" 

I was so dumbfounded I didnt say anything.  We left, came home, and looked over there book.

It talked about how abortion is playing God, how  selfish it is, etc.

We decided to go back to MIL's house.

As soon as she opened the door, I handed her the book and said "i'm not sure if you read the back of this book, but its about abortion."

She said "yeah I know I thought you could relate to the stories."

RELATE LADY HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND???

I muttered something along the lines of "I cant relate my baby died, I didnt have an @bortion."

I walked out.  Totally speechless.

On a lighter note!

I just read my last few blog posts, talk about a downer!  I've had sometime to digest our latest news, and feel slightly better.

On a more positive note I talked with our worker at DFACS, and she had submitted a letter to our old agency requesting our information.  Our agency agreed (but has yet to send the info).  She told me we should be up and running by Mid January!  I was also told that every foster home in our area is full.

The hubby and I will be having a very low key Christmas.  We didnt put up a tree this year, and we are not buying each other gifts.  Instead we will just spend time loving on each other!

I will be off work from the 24th until the 3rd of January!

broken

My heart is breaking  I wish there was someone I could speak with someone who understands what i'm dealing with.   I haven't been very active in the bloggy world because I am struggling. I cannot understand what I have  done to deserve so much heartache. I try very hard to be thankful for the things that I do have, but parts of me are missing.  I am broken into pieces, and it hurts deeply.

I wish my Mum was around, she would know what to say to comfort me.

I promised myself I wasn't going to blog about my infertility issues, but it feels good to get it all out.

Today my husband and I ventured to Florida to meet with a reproductive endocrinologists.  I decided not to tell anyone about the appointment. I guess I was hoping for good news, that way no one would have to know.

Of course we didn't get good news.

The RE give us a 3% chance of having a healthy pregnancy on our own.

He said I am at high risk for having a ectopic pregnancy because of all of the scaring left over from my endo.

He has little faith that hubby's surgery will help his count (based on his experience it rarely helps)

He is concerned that the longer we wait the more damage the endo will do to my reproductive organs. (its already coming back)

He also said that the endo could cause more damage to my already damaged ovaries.  He said  that they will  slow down in function or stop functioning all together.

He said we should bypass IUI and go straight to IVF.

He recommends that I get on strong birth control to "shut down" everything until we are ready to move forward with IVF.

Anyone got 10K I can borrow?

I don't understand how we were able to achieve pregnancy only a few months ago. And now we're being told IVF is the only way to go.  HUH? 

What kind of cruel joke is that?

belated

I'm just now sitting down to write  about our Thanksgiving!  We spent Thanksgiving with my two sisters, and their family on our favorite little Island.  Hubby and I arrived the night before everyone else.  We got up extra early and ventured to Savannah to do some shopping.   Around lunch time we headed back to the Island for lunch, and ran home for a quick nap before my sister L and family showed up.  We spent the rest of the day hanging around the house.  My Sister did some baking, and I did some eating! We played Uno with the kids until bed time. Around 1am my other Sis N showed up with her two kiddies.  I helped her get them settled and then we all went to bed.

For Christmas all of my Nieces, and Nephews got the book, The Elf On The Shelf.  It was a big hit!

Thursday was spent cooking, and eating, and hanging out at the beach.  My sisters and I headed out around 8pm to do some crazy shopping.  We stood in line at toys r us with 3,000 other people for several hours, but we got everything we went for! After Toys R US we hit up the dreaded Wally-World! I scored a shark steam mop for $36 bucks! We got home just after 2am.

Friday morning we hit up some more sales, this time we had the kids and husbands in tow! In the afternoon we made a ginger bread house.  The house was a complete flop (not to self get ginger bread men next year) because  of the humidity levels.  Friday night we played cards, and stay up too late.

Saturday  morning was spent chillin. Around noon we went over to the park. About 2pm my Sis N and the kids hit the road for the eight hour drive home. The rest of us went into Savannah for some ice cream, and shopping.  We caught the tale end of the  Savannah boar parade.  We grabbed some food, and headed  back to the house.  We cleaned up, and went to bed. By 11am Sunday we were all back on the road home!

A good time was had by all, the weather was lovely, and the kids did their best to behave!