I'm tired..

Last night like many nights I cried myself to sleep.

I'm tired.

I'm tired of crying myself to sleep, longing for a little baby I never got to meet.

I'm tired of being disappointed each month when my pregnancy test says "not pregnant".

I'm tired of  waking up at the same time each day to chart my BBT.

I'm tired of hearing people say "just relax it will happen."  "I never charted, and I have four kids"

I'm tired of putting on a front.  Acting like there is nothing wrong.

I'm tired of doctors offices, and surgery centers  (I've had two surgery's this year and 24 doctors appointments)

I'm tired of hearing people complain about how hard parenting is.  I would give my left leg to stay up all night with a crying baby.

I'm tired of pregnant friends complaining about morning sickness, and backaches.  I would gladly throw up every day if it meant my baby would still be here.

I'm tired of playing the waiting game. 

I'm tired of being bitter.

I'm tired of crying myself to sleep.

nkm kk ws2:6* n