Twenty

I'm still here drowning in self pity.  I should be  almost 20 weeks pregnant. By now we would know the sex and I would be starting to show.  What should have been a magical time hurts ever so badly.

Before we lost our little bean I had no idea how devastating a miscarriage is.  It is the loss of a life. A loss of the.future. A part of that family is forever changed

For so many years i've longed to be a mother. I want to see my belly grow to hear its little heart beat and to feel it kick.  I came so so close only to have it taken away.

It hurts