I am suddenly all alone with my thoughts. Lil' Man left this morning, and my hubby is at school. I have been so busy dealing with Lil' Man and his behaviors (as well as packing his stuff) that I haven't had a moment to breath.
Now that I am sitting here alone, I am scared. I cant stop thinking about what could have been and what we have just lost. I feel as if i've been hit by a bus.
My little baby had a heart beat, I seen it flicking on the screen. Then suddenly it stopped. I will always wonder if the stress of caring for Lil' Man played a roll in the loss of the baby.
if I hear "well at least you know you can get pregnant." one more time I might just scream.
I know that miscarriages are common, and that I am not the first woman to loose her baby. But really it doesn't make me feel any better in the moment. .
As soon as you get a positive test your entire life changes. You start planning your future around this little bean.
My husband was so excited, we couldn't stop smiling at each other. Every night before bed he would rub my belly and say good night to the baby.
Now we are just left dreaming about what should have been. I will always wonder about that little bean.
It is OK to grieve for the lose of your little bean and of Lil Man. You have been through an emotional roller coaster the last few weeks. Your life has been turned upside down. Take the time you need to mourn your loses. Know that there are people out here thinking about you and wishing you well. {{{hugs}}}
ReplyDeleteYour always on my mind sweetie. Take time for you now.....
ReplyDeleteI just had time to catch up with your blog. I am just sitting here stunned. I am so sorry for both of your loses. Wow. I am thinking of you. I wish there was something more I could do to help you. It doesn't matter that "you can get pregnant." you just lost your baby. And it doesn't matter that you know you are doing the right thing for Lil' Man... It still hurts very badly. Take time for you...God Bless.
ReplyDeleteYou have invested so much in Lil' Man and the feelings of loss are real and valid. Your Belly Bean was also a very real loss and I pray for you and your husband as you grieve. It doesn't matter how common miscarriages are... this was your baby. Take your time.
ReplyDeletePeace and Prayers