Monday, July 26, 2010

Ring Ring

Today I got a phone call from Lil' Man's case worker.  Here is part of our convo

Her: Hi Mrs. S its Mrs. XYZ from DFACS.

Me: Oh hi how are you? How is Lil' Man?

Her: He's right here with me, and wants to talk to you.

Me: Oh okay

Her: Things are not going well.  We didnt get the wavier that we applied for so he hasn't been in a  residential  program. He has been moved 3 times since leaving your home.


Her: His behaviors are out of control

Me: really? (insert eye roll)

Her: Do you want to talk to him?


Lil' Man and I talked for a few moments.  It was a heart breaking conversation, and I was bawling like a baby when I got off the phone. I told him to remember he will always be in my heart.

Case worker gets back on the phone.

Her: Well I really don't know what to do with him.

Me: I am sorry, we told you all we would take him back if he got the help that he needs. But its clear that hasn't happened.

Her: Okay Mrs. S do you mind if I give your number to the new foster parent so she can call you for tips. 

Me: No problem.  I will be glad to help in anyway that I can.  I hope this placement works

Her: He wont be here long, this is a respite home.

Me: So he will be moved again?

Her Yes. Okay Mrs S have a good day.


Talk about a freaking guilt trip.  There has got to be some one some where that has the skills to help this little boy.

Does anyone know what I can do to help advocate for him? Because its clear to me his case worker isnt.  Who should I call? How does a foster child get a CASA?



  1. Wow! I have had some bad caseworkers, but never like this! That is crazy, especially with him right there listening to it all. That's what upsets me the most, the kids are always the ones hurt. Here in IL a CASA is put in place by the judge to get a fair idea of what is going on outside of the agency or families. I wonder if you could write the judge? Does he have a GAL? What are they like? Can they help advocate? Ours here are so overbooked they usually don't even meet the kids they are fighting for, it's crazy. I feel for you, wish I could do more!

  2. I cannot believe that they did that. That is so sad for Lil Man and you. I cannot imagine how that made you feel.

  3. I'm very new to this, but that seemed like a low blow of her to put Lil Man on the phone like that, then paint a bad picture. The frustrating thing is, if they gave you the help and resources you needed, he wouldn't be put through any of that:(

  4. That was extremely unprofessional to put him on the phone and then talk about his problems with him right there! However, her not really knowing what to do with him isn't neccesarily her fault. If the waiver was denied, there isn't much she can do except try to find a home that can manage his needs. Its frustrating but the mental health system isn't always equipped to deal with such a young child with such significant needs. Definitely try to contact his GAL or look up the local CASA office for your area. Also, definitely try talking to his newest foster parents - hopefully they can hear some tricks that will help him stablize.. (((HUGS)))

  5. I'm so sorry.
    We've had a bad string of caseworkers as of late too. I'll be keeping you and lil man in my prayers.

  6. Wow, that's horrifyingly insensitive of the case worker. I would definitly call your local CASA office. Even if they can't intervene directly, they probably can give you an idea of who could help. I am so sorry for you and Lil Man. I wish I could give both of you a HUGE HUG!!

  7. You have to be kidding right? I CANNOT believe she did that!!! Ok, I would start with his GAL. Call her/him 1000 times a day and tell him what is going on. He can petition the court for an immediate hearing. The judge can MAKE the state pay for the residential. This is just unreal. POOR, POOR Lil' man. keep us updated PLEASE!!

  8. Oh, I am so so sorry for him & you. How heart wrenching to have to hear what you heard :( I hope the system can start really working in his favor!

  9. The system can be so frustrating. If he has a GAL or attorney, make sure that this person knows. He/she should be able to petition the court to court order residential treatment based on the behaviors and number of moves.