Happy New Year!

Another year has came and gone, what a wonderful year it was, filled with a lot of up's, and plenty of downs. But isn't that what life is all about?

2008 did not start off well I had just lost my Mum to cancer. Watching her slowly fade was one of the hardest things I have had to endure. At the time I didn't think I could live without her. But some how a year has passed, and I continue on.

In 2008 Wayne asked me to marry him, we didn't waste much time, as we both knew we did not want a big wedding. So we decided to elope, and were married on Tybee Island in May.

I was bursting with excitement, I couldn't wait to call everyone to let them in on our big secrete! Marrying Wayne, was truly the happiest day of my life. Knowing I have a man that loves me no matter what is the best feeling in the world.

It seems my life goes from one extreme to another I hope that in 2009 things level out. There are many things I am looking forward to in the new year.

I am excited about our first foster placement that will hopefully take place sometime in the near future.

I can't wait until our one year wedding anniversary. It's almost been a year since we married.. wow!!!

I am excited about our upcoming vacations. We really enjoy vacations, and try to get away whenever we can. We are in the process of planning a European vacation.

I look forward to spending time with my friends, and family. Watching the kids grow up, and turn into little people.

I look forward to adding to my family. Who knows by 2010 there could be another Sanford in the house.

Happy new year. Wishing you and yours a wonderful 2009

home again home again

 

We had a great time in Virginia, and finally made it home after 15 hellish hours in the car. From mid way through North Carolina until we entered Georgia we were in bumper to bumper traffic. In two hours we only moved 50 miles!

I was never so happy to roll into T-ville!!

Pictures to follow later

Surprise!!

 

We spent all day Christmas eve driving 12 hours to Virginia to surprise both of my sisters, and their families on Christmas morning.  We arrived in Virginia Beach around 9pm, it was so had for me keep my big mouth shut, and not spill the beans.

We are staying in a hotel over looking the ocean. Our room has a Jacuzzi tub, a bathroom twice the size of the normal, and a nice flatscreen tv!

I knew they were meeting up with each other for Christmas breakfast, I just had to figure out what time without being caught!  Everyone was surprised, I think they were shocked I was able to keep quiet!

We spent most of the day together, and even went swimming!

Merry Christmas

 

 

TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS

 

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house, Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
But some children's' stockings were missing this year.
Children were nestled all snug in their beds,
Some parents cling to memories dancing in their heads;
These children all fought their battles so strong,
Why oh why God, did disease have to come along?
Whether Cancer, Leukemia, Brain Tumors or ZS,
These children all fought for each precious day;
From needles to transplants to losing their hair,
These angels still found a smile to share.

Their memories live on...these precious little ones,
Disease has taken so many of our daughters and sons;
Children should not have to go through this fear...
Please oh please God... can you send us a cure?
Star after star after star they came...

Heavenly Lights displays each precious name.
Each angel a story, a family forever changed....
As we read each child's star...name after name...
Teagyn and Olivia, Mackenzie,Jaylon, Anna and Zane, Parker and JW to  There's Yahaira, Andre,Cooper, Laken, Roselyn, and Leah. Their stories all told, and memories held dear...These children are spending Christmas in Heaven this year.

The Sky is a twinkling, their stars sure do shine,
So many hearts touched, especially mine;
A bundle of joy...missed so sadly will be,
Their memories will continue on...for all to see.
Their eyes how they twinkled, their smiles were so bright,
Just like their stars that now light up our night;
Shattered lives, futures changed, a puzzle incomplete,
The meaning of life...these parents now seek.

God went right to work, and spoke not a word,
These children are now...as free as a bird;
God brings comfort and strength and has plenty to share,
The burdens will be eased with His loving care.
God is caring and strong, and needed so much,
And they smile in God's presence...so graciously touched;
God filled each stocking with hope...faith...and love,
God blessed us all...and back to heaven He rose.
Please hold us all close Father...let us feel your love,
Take care of the children up in Heaven above;
Send each parents love to their angel in the sky,
Until we are reunited in Heaven...and can understand why.

Country

 

Tracy (Wayne's) sister, and I spent the afternoon making gift boxes from fruit that we picked on the plantation. 

When I lived in Virginia I didnt worry about snakes, ants that bite, wild dogs, or alligators.  I surly didn't spend the afternoon picking fruit from the trees in my garden.

After making our gift baskets we took a golf cart ride around the plantation. 

When we returned to Tracy's house she told me she needed to take her rubbish to the dump (when you live in the country you don't have a bin man/trash pick up).

We drove 10 miles down a slippery road made out of clay and sand.  After we threw away her rubbish we headed back to Tracy's house on the plantation. We laughed, and laughed at how country our life has become.

Life can be so cruel..

 

Wayne, and I are still considered newlyweds We have  been married for almost seven months.  I have a husband who loves me more than anything in this world.  We have a lovely little home, and three fur babies.  We live a comfortable life, full of love, and happiness.  We're newlyweds after all.

Yet in the back of my mind I am struggling, barely able to keep my head above the water.  Sometimes I go under, but only for a moment. Thankfully Wayne is there to pull me up.

I just want a normal life, I am tired of crying, tired of acting as if everything is alright.  I just want to lead a normal life.  A life without tears. A life with my Mum, my Dad, and Teagyn.  But I know that will never happen.  No matter how many tears I shed, I know they are not coming back.

I want to enjoy the holidays as I did once before.  I don't want to dread birthdays, and I shouldn't have to celebrate angel days.

I wonder what my life would be like if all three of them where here today.

Aren't these last seven months supposed to have been some of the most happiest months of my life?

I know that over time, I will  be able to live my life without them by my side. But I will never forget them.

No news, good news?

 

We still have not had a placement, and I getting frustrated waiting.  I think we should have went from the state from the start, instead of a private agency.

Wayne hasn't had another bout of MRSA since, the beginning of November.

I am totally loving my new van.  The back windows roll down, the third row stows away with the click of a button.

I can fit a 4X8 sheet of plywood in the back!

No big Christmas plans here, just taking it easy, and enjoying time together.

My Mother in law was supposed to be visiting over Christmas, but it turns out she wont be able to make it. We were really looking forward to seeing her.  Hopefully she will make it up soon.

Nothing too exciting going on!

Siblings

Dishwasher

Does anyone need a little mini helper? He's pretty good at doing dishes, among other things.

\.

Jannae

 

Happy eight birthday my sweet little girl! I remember the day you were born as if it were only yesterday.  A head full of hair, and huge brown eyes..The first time I held you, you screamed the hospital room down.

Your toddler years were full of fun, trips to the park, playdough fun, and silly games with your cousin Teagyn. Weekend BBQ's and Tuesday night dinners at Grandma's house.

The preschool years were full of adventures, you enjoyed doing "school work", playing outside, all the while bossing everyone around.  You were a stickler for the rules.

You are one amazing little girl, who is wise beyond her years.  Your sweet nature shows in everything  you do. I had no idea how close we would become over the years. What a wonderful eight years it has been.

A Sunday stroll

 

 

with Brooke, Katie, Wayne, and myself..

 

 

SOLD

 

You don't really know how attached to  your car you are until it's time to sell it.  My CRV was my first adult purchase that I I bought and paid for all on my own. 

 

The car carries a lot of memories, I remember my Mum, and I arguing over the car, because she didnt think I needed an SUV.  But I knew that it was the car I wanted, because it was stylish and also fit Teagyn's wheelchair without having to fold it down.

I was sad to see it go, until "the guy" handed me the money, some how that made it all better.

lalalalal

 

Just sitting here waiting for a phone call from our foster agency.  I hope we get a match soon.

Merry Christmas, Teagyn

 

Each year since Teagyn's passing I have purchased something in her memory.  An angel figure to go in her room,  or we have donated a book to our local library in Teagyn's memory.

 

This year Wayne, and I decided to pick a child off the angel tree.  We picked a little girl, who is 8, the same age Teagyn would be if she were alive.  (Hard to imagine.)

We bought her pink pants, a matching shirt, that said angel, as well as a pair of earring's.

I thought the angel shirt was very fitting.   I hope the little girl enjoys her gifts.

Mommy mobile!

 

Check out my new ride! A 8 seater Toyota Sienna with

electric sliding doors. 

legal

 

Today we went to a CPR class that was given by our foster care agency, as that is one of the requirements of being a licensed  foster parent.  We decided to in crease the age of the children we are willing to care for from 0-4, up to age 7. 

After we signed a mountain of paper work we were given or official letter which states we are certified as foster parents!!!

Now the waiting, and wondering begins.   

Sick little monkey

 

Both of the boys (P and Willie B), have nasty cold's that have been hanging around.  They started wheezing, and becoming short of breath so on Thursday I took them both to the Dr.

They were prescribed nebulizer treatments every four hours around the clock,  as well as oral steroids. The doctor was generous enough to give Willie an RX for an antibiotic, as he also has an ear infection.

At first William screamed the entire 15 minutes it takes to give him a treatment.  But being the bright Nanny (ha) that I am, I rigged his blankie into the mask, so that he was able to suck on it, and get his treatment at the same time.

Both boys have been bouncing off the walls because of the steroids.  William was awake from 7am until 8:45pm, with no naps, because he was so "high".  He usually naps for 3 hours. 

I hope they are both on the mend come Monday.

Celebrate good times!!

 

We are officially  licensed!

have I told you lately..

 

Have I told you all that I have the best husband in the world? He loves me like no other person, and often tells me that I am the best thing that as ever happened to him. 

He listens to me when I am talking non-sense, he is there for me whenever I am upset.  We laughed together, shop together, and share our dreams with each other.

He never leaves without kissing me good bye, he tells me daily how much he loves me, and blows me kisses all day long! He even tucks me in at night!

He cooks dinner almost every night, and does his household  "chores" without me asking. 

Thank you Wayne for giving me your unconditional love.

I couldn't ask for a better partner in crime. 

You are my best friend!

Baby Ella

 

Little Miss Ella is having surgery on her heart tomorrow, to fix her two heart defects.  Please keep Ella, and her family in your prayers.

Pea fun

 

Thanks

 

I just wanted to say a quick thanks to those of you who showed your love and support to myself, and my family yesterday.  It means a great deal to know that people have not forgotten our Mum.  Thank's for remembering.

Love,

Karen

One day at a time

 

One year has gone by, how can it be?

Death is nothing at all.
I have only slipped away into the next room.
I am I and you are you.
Whatever we were to each other,
that we still are.

Call me by my old familiar name.
Speak to me in the easy way
which you always used.
Put no difference in your tone.
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.

Laugh as we always laughed
at the little jokes we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household word
that it always was.
Let it be spoken without affect,
without the trace of a shadow on it.

Life means all that it ever meant.
It is the same that it ever was.
There is absolutely unbroken continuity.
Why should I be out of mind
because I am out of sight?

I am waiting for you,
for an interval,
somewhere very near,
just around the corner.

All is well.

Just last year.

Below are a few of my posts from this day last year. In some bazaar way it helps me to read over my old entries.

Posted Nov 29, 2007 8:37am

When Mark, and I left the hospital last night Mum's temp was down because of the cooling blanket. Her heart rate was around 116. She looked very comfortable.

Her stats were still a little low despite being on 75% oxygen. She was stating around 93-94% (normal being 98-100) She is still very heavily sedated, which makes her "look worse".

Mum is very sick, the Dr's no not think she is going to make it. They are still asking us to "turn her off". But we are not at that point yet. We are waiting for the infection to clear. She was doing so much better before she caught the infection. If the infection does not clear, or if Mum gets worse, we are going to have to make some hard decisions.

Here is what we are looking at if all goes in our favor: 1-2 more weeks for the infection to clear, then trach/peg tube surgery, 10 day recovery from that,then start new chemo combo.

Its hard to be sure we are making the right choices, its hard not to be selfish.

Please pray that while we are waiting for things to get better, that Mum's cancer does not grow. Please pray that Mum is not in any pain, and that we are making the right decisions.

Thanks,

Karen

Posted Nov 29, 2007 10:25am

I just got to the hospital about an hour ago, Mum's stats are in the low 80's. Her heart rate is high in the 140's. IT SUCKS... Her blood pressure is low, and her oxygen has been turned up to 85%. Her temp is still there, despite medication, ice packs, and the cooling blanket.

I am sitting here having my own pity party..

I am so angry, it just isnt fair. Why us? Why our Mum? Our Mum has done nothing wrong in life. She took great care of us, and gave up "stuff" just to make sure we had the best Haven’t we gone through enough? As selfish as it sounds.. When I get married, I wont have any parents at my wedding. My babies wont get to know my Mum or Dad. My Mum wont get to hold my children. IT ISNT FAIR.

I feel like we've been robbed. It makes you wonder who's next.

Posted Nov 29, 2007 4:41pm

Today is Nicola's 30th birthday.. It's sucks that I have to write this message on her birthday.

Mum's fever has gone away, and her stats have calmed down, but I fear they have calmed down, because Mum's body is shutting down. The Dr said he thinks our Mum is going to die within 1-3 days while on the vent.

If we take her off the vent she will die within a few min to a few hours. Everyone is on their way to the hospital, and we will see what happens from there.

My Mum is still sedated, she keeps moving her arms, and likes it when someone is holding her hand. I just washed her face, and put on her face cream. Then lotioned her hands.

Karen

Our six little bit's

 

Family pictures

Thankful for

Life, and its ever changing experiences..

I was going to write a long post about everything,  and everyone I am thankful for but quiet frankly that will take too much time.

I am thankful for the life that was given to me 20 something years ago.  While I am saddened by some of my life experiences, the good times surely out way the bad.

Those "experiences" weather good or bad, made me into the person I am today.

Happy Thanksgiving..

.

Cake anyone?

My sister Nicola reminded me today of,cornflake cakes, a childhood favorite.  After visiting the three grocery stores in town FIVE times tonight, I was unable to find golden syrup.  I finally gave up and used corn syrup as a substitute.

INGREDIENTS

• 3 1/2 tablespoons butter
• 4 tablespoons golden syrup
• 4 ounces semisweet chocolate, chopped
• 2 3/4 cups cornflakes cereal

• In a saucepan over low heat, combine the butter, golden syrup and chocolate. Cook and stir until butter and chocolate have melted and everything is well blended. Mix in the cornflakes cereal. Drop by heaping spoonfuls onto waxed paper or a buttered baking sheet. Place in the refrigerator until set, about 15 minutes.

 

Enjoy!

From youngest to oldest..

 

 

 

 

 

This holiday season.

As most of you are aware my niece, Teagyn passed away from a rare disorder at 4 1/2 yrs old. With the help of you, and others we hope to one day find a cure, so that no other family has to suffer as we have.

Whenever you shop online please consider shopping via Igive.   Igive will donate a percentage of your purchase to an organization of your choice. It costs you nothing, and it can also be used as a tax deduction.

Igive.com has over 600 well known stores, please sign up today, and select  Zellweger Baby Support Network as your organization.

To learn more about Zellweger baby support network, please visit our website @ ZBSN.org

Worried you might forget to use Igive?  You can download a free shopping window, that pops up when you go to the store of your choice. 

To learn more about our angel please visit, Teagyn's website

Thanks for your support, it truly means a great deal to myself, and my family.

Karen

Nope..

We're not licensed yet..

Hanging out on River Street, Savannah

 

Beach fun on Tybee