Posted on the fridge
Dear Cats:
The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort, however.
Cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.
For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door I entered.
Also, I have been using the bathroom for years -
feline attendance is not required.
The proper order for kissing is: Kiss me first, then go smell the other cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.
Finally, in fairness, dear pets, I have posted the following message on the front door:
TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS:
(1) They live here. You don't.
(2) If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That's why they call it 'fur'-niture.
(3) I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
(4) To you, they are animals. To me, they are adopted sons/daughters who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don't speak clearly.
Remember,cats are better than kids because they
(1) eat less,
(2) don't ask for money all the time,
(3) are easier to train,
(4) normally come when called,
(5) never ask to drive the car,
(6) don't hang out with drug-using people;
(7) don't smoke or drink,
(8) don't want to wear your clothes,
(9) don't have to buy the latest fashions,
(10) don't need a gazillion dollars for college and
(11) if they get pregnant, you can sell their children
Hilarious!
ReplyDeleteShopping is perhaps the favorite past-time of many of us. This means that majority of folk are indeed, shopaholics. Just observe it when you go to the mall, it might be full of folks. When they are not buying apparels, they are shopping for food to stuff their tummies. Some are also buying games. Each mall you go to are jam-packed with shoppers. Come to think about it, have you ever been to a mall with only 10 shoppers? I guess never, right? We can not help it if we reside in a universe of shoppers. Critical Role T-Shirt
ReplyDeleteTo most people, shopping is an everyday activity. Most people do their shopping on daily basis. When going out for shopping, you need to have a bag to carry your shopping items. For a long time now, people have used plastic bags offered by stores as shopping bags. Although some of these plastic bags served the same purpose as shopping bags, they had a number of notable drawbacks. Uk deals website
ReplyDeleteRelationship Coaching is the application of coaching to personal and business relationships. While many become motivated to seek help when struggling with their relationships, coaching and relationship coaching are positive, results-oriented professions that help functional people achieve their personal and relationship goals and is not a substitute or replacement for therapy provided by a licensed clinician trained to treat mental, emotional, and psychological disorders. While relationship coaches might be experts in relationships, the art and science of coaching is to facilitate success for the client without providing advice or "professional opinions." dating advice for women
ReplyDeleteI used to be recommended this website through my cousin. I am now not certain whether this put up is written by him as nobody else recognize such special about my difficulty. You are incredible! Thank you! 918kiss pussy888 android
ReplyDeleteI am curious to find out what blog platform you’re using? I’m experiencing some small security problems with my latest website and I would like to find something more risk-free. Do you have any suggestions? 918kiss kiss918 apk download
ReplyDeleteThis web site is usually a walk-through its the information you wished about this and didn’t know who ought to. Glimpse here, and you’ll definitely discover it. 파워볼사이트
ReplyDeleteThis web site is usually a walk-through its the information you wished about this and didn’t know who ought to. Glimpse here, and you’ll definitely discover it. 918kiss
ReplyDeleteI need to appreciate this extremely good read!! I certainly loved every little bit of it. I have you bookmarked your site to check out the fresh stuff you post. 먹튀검증 방법
ReplyDeletewoah i like yur site. It really helped me with the information i wus looking for. thank you, will save. Envato Market Coupon Code
ReplyDeleteThere are thousands of online shopping sites where you can order for your products. But how many of these online stores are genuine? Shopping online can be risky if you do not know how to protect yourself. The advert of the internet has made online shopping easier. I was surprised when a friend once told me he preferred offline shopping. He indeed did not know the advantages inherent in online shopping stores. Before giving you hints on how to shop safely, lets look at some of the advantages. https://toptoy365.creatorlink.net/
ReplyDeleteThe internet finally fulfilled one of its great promises: People are making money by selling products on the ecommerce websites. If you're new to ecommerce, or selling products and services on the internet, read on. This article explains how to choose an ecommerce shopping cart solution for your online business. 셔츠룸
ReplyDeletewoah i like yur site. It really helped me with the information i wus looking for. thank you, will save. superslot เครดิตฟรี50
ReplyDeleteRecognizing the beauty within. As the saying goes, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Well, in 2014, beauty is defined in many more ways, as the minds of humans open up to the entire world, and realizes, that beauty is not just based on one idea of what true beauty really is. joker purple jacket
ReplyDeleteEvery year billions of dollars are spent by consumers on line, and as the trend is growing rapidly, shopping security is still the number one factor in which a person may choose not to buy from a website. Follow these ten easy online shoe shopping tips, and you will be shoe shopping online like a pro. Expressvpn offer
ReplyDeleteIn recent times, online shopping has taken India by storm for a variety of products. This phenomenon has also spread to furniture, furnishings and interior decor. Urban Ladder is one of those filling the niche for online shopping of furniture and making the lives of customers easier on multiple fronts such as time, effort and cost. The portal has a well designed, clean and pleasant look. It is quite user friendly and products are categorised neatly. Urban Ladder is a niche player and a specialist in the furniture segment. There are numerous choices, priced reasonably with great discounts from time to time and doorstep delivery. Its products are well curated with strict quality control. If required, there are easy returns available and refunds as well. The listings are descriptive with clear images. That is not all - there are more facilities that Urban Ladder offers to customers including an attractive referral policy! caiques
ReplyDeleteWhile Chinese medicine may be considered "alternative" medicine in the West, it is an accepted form of conventional medicine in Eastern cultures - Chinese medicine colleges are trying to change this Western mode of thinking by researching, teaching and administering comprehensive training in this unique healing art. adderall for sale online
ReplyDelete
ReplyDelete라이센스 : 필리핀 정식 합법 라이센스 게임영상 : 부웅고게임/판타즈마/어거스트게이밍/게임아트/플레이스타/푸쉬게이밍/블루프린트 등 27개 게임사 제공 신규 가입혜택 : 가입 머니 2만원(입금액과 같이 사용 가능) 입금 보너스 : 매일 첫입금 20% (MAX 무제한)/매일 재입금 5% (MAX 무제한) 슬롯업계 중 가장많은 보너스혜택 제공 / 모든게임 롤링 100%
슬롯사이트
I’m impressed, I have to admit. Genuinely rarely do you encounter a blog that’s both educative and entertaining, and without a doubt, you may have hit the nail within the head. Your notion is outstanding; the issue is something which too little consumers are speaking intelligently about. My business is delighted we found this within my hunt for something regarding this. 바카라 사이트
ReplyDeleteRattling excellent info can be found on web blog . comic books uk
ReplyDeletePatients answer patient satisfaction survey questions based on their perception, and yet there is limited context for the healthcare provider. It leaves one asking the questions - who were they interacting with, what was said, when did it happen, and how capable and reliable was the patient to make those interpretations? So instead of convening a committee to explore the reasons for poor scores, healthcare mystery shopping provides healthcare clients with the research intelligence needed to make real-time improvements. ScraperAPI.com Coupons
ReplyDeleteThe DubLi Shopping is quite simply an innovative and fun concept for consumers. If you like the convenience of shopping online, you'll love the benefits of doing it through the DubLi Network. Scraper API Promo Codes
ReplyDeleteTraditional bookstores have always existed on high streets, but in the digital age, the internet is proving to become a serious competitor to traditional brick and mortar stores. This article examines both sides of the coin and provides an appropriate insight into the phenomenon of shopping of books online. amulet
ReplyDeleteThere are many companies in the world, which are proposing online shopping facilities for books. The most significant fact about the online books shopping is that one can buy books from any parts of the country, sitting at his/her home. This has also bestowed with an opportunity of buying books from anywhere in the world. weed delivery
ReplyDeleteA laser engraving business is a very profitable business one can start from home. For someone thinking of pulling out of formal employment, laser engraving offers a great opportunity to venture into business. But is it right for you? 80 Lower
ReplyDeleteWith recession and people losing their jobs it becomes really difficult to cope up with their daily needs. In such situations, people get a much needed relief from the shopping-vouchers provided by various shops. It really gives them an opportunity to hold on to their high life style even during this recession period. With the help of these shopping vouchers they can make a good use of it in buying the things which they require. Caterpillar Black Friday
ReplyDeleteWith recession and people losing their jobs it becomes really difficult to cope up with their daily needs. In such situations, people get a much needed relief from the shopping-vouchers provided by various shops. It really gives them an opportunity to hold on to their high life style even during this recession period. With the help of these shopping vouchers they can make a good use of it in buying the things which they require. vigrxplusa.com
ReplyDeleteWith recession and people losing their jobs it becomes really difficult to cope up with their daily needs. In such situations, people get a much needed relief from the shopping-vouchers provided by various shops. It really gives them an opportunity to hold on to their high life style even during this recession period. With the help of these shopping vouchers they can make a good use of it in buying the things which they require. passion
ReplyDeleteWith recession and people losing their jobs it becomes really difficult to cope up with their daily needs. In such situations, people get a much needed relief from the shopping-vouchers provided by various shops. It really gives them an opportunity to hold on to their high life style even during this recession period. With the help of these shopping vouchers they can make a good use of it in buying the things which they require. اساور
ReplyDeleteDo you do online shopping the old-fashioned way? Do you use search engines to find the item you desire? Shopping trends have revolutionized and evolved to another level with the phenomenon of social shopping networks. better than teflon pans
ReplyDeleteMy buddy just purchased a top branded perfume from online shopping by using a coupon code deal. He bought the perfume online by just spending Rs 300, which on the display of some stylish store at a shopping mall would definitely price anywhere between Rs 500 - 700. Thanks to the online shopping and coupon deal system, with all this a new shopping trend has emerged in the Indian market. Not only this, but online shopping also gives a comfort of avoiding shopping in crowded stores with stressful last-minute shopping for friends or a family in situation you forget to buy a gift for them on a special occasion. quietest electric kettle best electric kettle
ReplyDeleteIn the 50s, 60s and 70s, the Indian fashion scenario was colorful and stylish, in the end of 20th century it was quite subdued and with the beginning of the 21st century it has geared up and is still experiencing the growth with many spectrums of colours. Though this industry is growing at a very good pace, besides achieving a negligible share in the global market, still it needs to make severe efforts to stand amongst international fashion market in various aspects. best treadmills under 300
ReplyDeleteThere are positive signs that online shopping and e-commerce is gaining popularity in India. More and more people are buying online in India. In fact, Indians have every chance to become biggest online spenders in the near future. Online shopping is well suited for Indians. If you are an Indian and is still skeptical about shopping online, this article explains benefits of buying online in India. best quiet kettle
ReplyDeletei would love to have some debt consolidation and have financial freedom in the years to come` business sign making company
ReplyDeleteA regular visit to the beauty salon is no longer a luxury. For many women & some men juggling work and home can be very time consuming and at times stressful. Today, beauty salons are more than just a place to get pampered. A professional beauty salon needs to be able to offer a comprehensive range of skin care treatments, provide effective home care product solutions which suit your skin type and condition and a place to relax, unwind, throw away your cares for a while. Personal skin care routine, for most people, is not lavish behaviour - it is a way of life. Accessories
ReplyDeleteI’m a blog crazed person and i love to read cool blog like yours.:`*’” Best mattress 2022
ReplyDeletewell, earning money is a bit tricky and hard sometimes. you really got to be very creative if you want to earn more,. steroids online
ReplyDeleteFrequently asked questions about Turkish coffee making. Common answers to common coffee making questions... شغف
ReplyDeleteTips for Finding Perfect Premium Coffee... There is coffee and THERE IS COFFEE! With "generic" quality coffees found at the supermarket and, Gourmet Coffees purchased direct from roasters around the country, how can you siphon out the crème de la crème of gourmet coffee beans to purchase? باشن
ReplyDeleteTriggerfinger, also called tenosynovitis stenosans or hock finger, is a common condition. Trigger finger is an irritation of the tendon sheath. One cause of this can be overload. This leads to a local swelling in the tendon and/or narrowing. This severely limits the normal, smooth guidance of the flexor tendon. To heal or recover from trigger finger, it is recommended to wear a finger splint as much as possible. What is a finger splint? The trigger finger splint is an aid that limits overload of the joint. The finger brace also provides a lot of stabilization of the finger so that the joint can recover Triggerfinger.
ReplyDeleteMy buddy just purchased a top branded perfume from online shopping by using a coupon code deal. He bought the perfume online by just spending Rs 300, which on the display of some stylish store at a shopping mall would definitely price anywhere between Rs 500 - 700. Thanks to the online shopping and coupon deal system, with all this a new shopping trend has emerged in the Indian market. Not only this, but online shopping also gives a comfort of avoiding shopping in crowded stores with stressful last-minute shopping for friends or a family in situation you forget to buy a gift for them on a special occasion. chillys bottles
ReplyDeleteBeing granted more rights and co-determination in society and public life, women realized around 1920 the need to reflect their newly adapted role in the clothes they were wearing. Equipped with a growing self-esteem and the desire to dress up in styles that signal their distinct personalities, new fashion styles were needed. browz dubai
ReplyDeleteFashion production as it relates to clothing has actually come a very long way. Basically, the term refers to the manufacturing of various kinds of clothing materials, dresses, and fashion accessories. Several factors have always influenced the production process... micro blading
ReplyDeleteWith recession and people losing their jobs it becomes really difficult to cope up with their daily needs. In such situations, people get a much needed relief from the shopping-vouchers provided by various shops. It really gives them an opportunity to hold on to their high life style even during this recession period. With the help of these shopping vouchers they can make a good use of it in buying the things which they require. www.cpetpeglove.com
ReplyDeleteWomen are known for their shopping spree but these days men are not left behind in the race. Many eminent studies have shown that both men and women have flair for shopping. One of the facts that also came out was that online shopping has been one of the biggest beneficiaries of these positive preferences. sell usable items
ReplyDeleteWith recession and people losing their jobs it becomes really difficult to cope up with their daily needs. In such situations, people get a much needed relief from the shopping-vouchers provided by various shops. It really gives them an opportunity to hold on to their high life style even during this recession period. With the help of these shopping vouchers they can make a good use of it in buying the things which they require. respect my authoritah
ReplyDeletevWith recession and people losing their jobs it becomes really difficult to cope up with their daily needs. In such situations, people get a much needed relief from the shopping-vouchers provided by various shops. It really gives them an opportunity to hold on to their high life style even during this recession period. With the help of these shopping vouchers they can make a good use of it in buying the things which they require. INDUSTRIAL 3D PRINTER
ReplyDeleteThere is no best thing about traveling than the idea of shopping until you drop. It is a great experience, an awesome treat, for anyone who journeys to places. lampe berger paris
ReplyDeleteWe've all been there. That one horse that just won't load onto a trailer no matter what. They've either had a traumatic experience with one, or never been trailered or just hate trailers. German government
ReplyDeleteShopping channels have emerged as a popular trend of current times. They are particularly helpful for those who find it tough to take time off from their busy schedule. Find out numerous benefits offered by shopping channels. Laptops online
ReplyDeleteFashion stylists are indispensable for celebrities, fashion models and actors. Today, with people busy with their careers, we find many individuals too opting for the services of stylists. maderotherapy abu dhabi
ReplyDeleteCreative sensational from different parts of the world taking style, beauty and definition of fashion to its edge, promotional linchpin of a multibillion-dollar industry, I am talking about nothing else but Fashion Weeks. Fashion weeks are hallmarks of fashion industry to rollout the new season feel in fashion. They generally last up to a week allowing fashion designers, artists and fashion houses to display their latest collection. It hallmarks next seasons "in" things, that's why it is very important for buyers, media, celebrities and entertainment industry who take that fashion among the general public. 3d nipple tattooing
ReplyDeleteWith recession and people losing their jobs it becomes really difficult to cope up with their daily needs. In such situations, people get a much needed relief from the shopping-vouchers provided by various shops. It really gives them an opportunity to hold on to their high life style even during this recession period. With the help of these shopping vouchers they can make a good use of it in buying the things which they require. Taif Tourist Guide
ReplyDeleteeCommerce and Online Shopping has now gone a long way; it has changed the way consumers and entrepreneurs do business today. It hasn't wiped out the idea of shopping in a physical store, but it gave the consumers an alternative means to shop and a bigger market that offers bigger savings. Also, gone are the days when huge risks are at stake when you shop online. 德国亚超
ReplyDeleteShopping channels have emerged as a popular trend of current times. They are particularly helpful for those who find it tough to take time off from their busy schedule. Find out numerous benefits offered by shopping channels. 螺蛳粉
ReplyDeleteWith recession and people losing their jobs it becomes really difficult to cope up with their daily needs. In such situations, people get a much needed relief from the shopping-vouchers provided by various shops. It really gives them an opportunity to hold on to their high life style even during this recession period. With the help of these shopping vouchers they can make a good use of it in buying the things which they require. mothers day jewelry
ReplyDeleteFertilizante líquido NPK de ácido fúlvico de aminoácidos de extracto de algas orgánicas solubles 100% de alta pureza a precio de fábrica suministro de fábrica de algas marinas y fertilizantes para peces
ReplyDeleteSome genuinely prime posts on this website , bookmarked . Global Clothing Industries
ReplyDeleteThis internet site is my breathing in, really good layout and perfect content . wilkinson chute parts
ReplyDeletemy voice sucks on karaoke that is why i am taking sining lessons now from professionals* https://btacquisitions.com
ReplyDeletedress shops that offer discounts are very common in our place and i always shop at them,. 카지노사이트
ReplyDeleteCEA Aviation offers the pleasant Best DGCA Ground Classes in India . This is the right region for your career .If you need to be clear DGCA Ground examination CEA Aviation provide the exceptional lessons the training is furnished by professionally teacher.
ReplyDelete